A splendid performance by and large from Arsenal, and a deserved win that will settle a nerve or two. Mathieu Debuchy had a pretty decent game as an emergency centre-half, while Giroud helped himself to a couple of splendid finishes. Still, don’t let this be mistaken for salvation, for sorting all of Arsenal’s problems out. They’re still fifth, 13 points off top spot, and they still had to play a full-back in the middle of defence. Still, enjoy your evening, Gooners. I permit you.
Updated
Full-time: Arsenal 4-1 Newcastle
CRISISWHATCRISIS
90 mins + 2: Alert keeping from Szczesny as Riviere shoots from outside the area, but despite the deflection off Mertesacker’s back, it’s gathered.
90 mins + 1: Final sub for Arsenal - Oxlade-Chamberlain is withdrawn, and youngster Ainsley Maitland-Niles, who is allegedly 17 but looks about 12, makes his debut.
90 mins: Podolski pulls back his left foot and an entire defence instinctively flinches, but no need that time as his effort goes wide.
89 mins: You’re taking a penalty. You’re 3-1 up in the 89th minute. Why wouldn’t you delicately dink it down the middle of the goal? Cazorla follows this logic and rounds off a highly satisfactory evening for his team.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 4-1 Newcastle (Cazorla 89)
Panenka!
PENALTY TO ARSENAL!
Hmmm. Dummett bundles Welbeck over, but that looked suspiciously shoudler-chargey.
Updated
87 mins: Sub: Sanchez comes off, and Francis Coquelin, recalled from loan at Charlton today, comes on. At least the trip across London was worthwhile.
86 mins: A corner is cleared out to Newcastle on the edge of the area and it drops to Tiote, who suddenly sees that goal back in 2011 flash before his eyes, but this time his left-footed swinger sails high through the cool North London air and over the bar. Well over the bar.
84 mins: ‘One Arséne Wenger’ rings around the Emirates. ‘Get out while you can Joel!’ screeches one scrote hanging around a train station for some reason.
83 mins: Coloccini rather oafishly bundles Welbeck over with an elbow to the striker’s back, and then for some reasons goes absolutely postal at the referee for giving a free-kick.
82 mins: Janmaat gets a booking after leaving one on Cazorla. Meanwhile, Perez is subbed off for Adam Armstrong.
81 mins: Great chance for Riviere, after Dummett streaks down the left and puts a low cross to the near post, but the French striker can’t get a decent touch to it and it’s bundled clear.
78 mins: Great chance for Arsenal to really ram it home as they counter two-on-two, but Sanchez passes to Welbeck whose attempts to skip around Coloccini end in failure. Which sounds a little bit final, but there you go.
76 mins: Sanchez tries a defence-splitter that, in fairness, does manage exactly that. The trouble is that it doesn’t find an Arsenal player. Try again, Alexis.
75 mins: Coloccini tries a cross from deep on the right that can only be described as...weird. Oh, and not very good. Obviously it’s not very good.
72 mins: Change for Arsenal, as Lukas Podolski replaces Giroud, who doesn’t look overly-chuffed to be coming off, on a hat-trick as he is, but it’s the smart move by Wenger to keep him relatively rested.
69 mins: Eesh, suicidal stuff from Coloccini, who dithers over a clearance in his own six-yard box. Welbeck charges it down, Sanchez can’t get the shot away but Cazorla does, and it’s blocked by Williamson’s chest. Which sounds a bit like where the Famous Five might find treasure.
68 mins: Sweet buns, Sanchez loses control of the ball on the edge of the area, falls over, has two Newcastle men standing over him but still manages to come away with the ball. He passes to Giroud, but the return ball isn’t good enough and Sanchez can’t pick it up again. This lad’s special.
Updated
66 mins: Giroud and Cazorla exchange some nice passes on the left, then under the attention of Tiote the Spaniard knocks it back to Welbeck, who tees up Flamini who tries a curler but it’s too high, and goes o’er the bar.
63 mins: Hmmm - game on? Colback wins a free-kick on the left corner of the box that he himself whips in at around chest height to the near post, where Perez stoops and guides a header just inside the near post.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 3-1 Newcastle (Perez 63)
Interesting....VERY INTERESTING
62 mins: Hankins is back on: ‘I’ll gladly take all the opprobrium I deserve, but think back to Welbeck’s performance against United that likely made the difference between a win and a loss. His Dortmund misses were cringeworthy. He missed against City. All misses that made a huge difference in results. Look, he’s a great kid with an excellent work rate. His finishing though is not great.’
60 mins: Sanchez takes the free-kick, but it thuds into the top of the wall. You sometimes forget those are human heads. Sanchez gets his foot clumsily/malicously trodden upon by Janmaat, but doesn’t get the yellow card dished out that he wanted.
59 mins: Forgot to mention: just before the goal, Oxlade-Chamberlain was booked for a late challenge on Riviere. And the assailant turns victim, as he’s felled like a chunky oak by Tiote on the edge of the box, and another yellow is flashed.
58 mins: A neat counter attack by Arsenal down the right, and the ball is worked to Bellerin on the right side of the area, he squares to Giroud who is only just onside - level at best - and unmarked to clip home at the near post.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 3-0 Newcastle (Giroud 58)
And that’s yer lot.
56 mins: Pardew reacts immediately by making a double change - Remy Cabella and Emmanuel Riviere are on, Cisse and Ameobi are orf.
55 mins: Nice stuff from Arsenal, and it’s all very simple again. Sanchez slips a neat pass through the defence in the left channel, Cazorla evades the challenge of Coloccini and in fact does well to stay on his feet, then produces a delicious chipped finish over Alnwick.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Newcastle (Cazorla 55)
And that’s two.
52 mins: Oh, lovely stuff. Janmaat has his pants very thoroughly yanked around his ankles by Sanchez, who sells the full-back an absolutely king-sized dummy to streak past him, ducking underneath an aerial ball and fooling his opponent convincingly. Sanchez tries to do everything by himself, and runs into trouble.
51 mins:
Really enjoying watching this new Saturday evening Lee Mason vehicle (with background football)
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 13, 2014
50 mins: Almost a chance deliciously carved by Arsenal, but Cazorla plays a reverse pass behind Welbeck and it’s all ruined, like a bigger boy kicking over your sandcastle.
49 mins: Colback is on his last warning after pulling back Sanchez, as he was almost set to launch an attack.
47 mins: ‘Without wanting to tempt fate,’ says Charles Antaki, massively tempting fate, ‘it might be said that neither Ramsey or Wilshere have been much missed. Yes, I know that anything may happen with Flamini, usually involving cards of one colour or another. But this bodes reasonably well for Arsenal until midfield reinforcements arrive in January (or, of course, not).’
46 mins: The second half is underway. No changes at half-time.
Re; Welbeck/Hankins:
@NickMiller79 The proceeds of that "tasty business" re Welbeck was mainly spent on the Radamel Falcao loan. How's that working out?
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) December 13, 2014
‘What on earth is Hankins going on about?’ asks a man who identifies himself only as ‘Mister Espresso’. ‘Arsenal got a young English striker - one with steady international goal scoring and six in 16 this year for Arsenal -- for £16m. Andy Carroll cost £35m. Lukaku cost £28m. Shane Long and Enner Valencia - they of six goals between them - cost £12m each. Lovren cost £20m. This wasn’t handy business from Man U. Today, Welbeck’s attempt on 31 mins was pretty damn good, and he more likely than not should have had another fine goal allowed on 15 mins. He is definitely not the new Henry, but there is nothing to “Ugh.”
Half-time: Arsenal 1-0 Newcastle
Not exactly a commanding performance by Arsenal, but at least they go into the break in the lead, the first time it’s happened at the Emirates this season. A belting header from Giroud produced a most ‘un-Arsenal’ goal, and that’s been enough. The defence has actually been relatively solid for the most part, a brief scramble from a corner when Gouffran then Cisse nearly scored aside.
45 mins: Niall Quinn on commentary notes that Newcastle have ‘silenced’ the home fans, which is a little like saying you’ve provoked Roy Keane to lose his temper. Not, it must be said, a particularly tricky task.
44 mins: Loads - seriously, loads - of empty seats at the Emirates, as people edge their way out of their seats for indoor warmth/glasses of merlot at half-time.
43 mins: As Arsenal try to build an attack, Gibbs passes from the halfway line all the way back to Szczesny. Huh.
41 mins: Debuchy: Centre-Half update - he’s just won another header. Sure, it was against Jack Colback, but he’s doing OK so far.
40 mins: Sam Hankins, whose name is explained by him writing from Austin, Texas, has been on: ‘I’m at the office today catching up with some work, following the game online. One of my underlings, a Man United fan, poked his head into my office just after Welbeck’s miss and my consequent groan and whispered “I told you!” He’s been gloating about the tasty bit of business United did if off-loading Welbeck. So physical, so fast, and absolutely no poise in front of goal. Ugh.’
39 mins: From that corner the ball finds its way to Cazorla, who shoots low from the edge of the D but it’s deflected wide.
38 mins: Ach, silly decision given by the lino. Sanchez chases a ball near the right corner of the box, he and Dummett shoulder-charge each other, the Arsenal man loses his balance, and a free-kick is given. To compound the error, the foul took place just inside the box.
37 mins: Yellow card for Bellerin, much to the chagrin of the home crowd, but the young Spaniard fairly blatantly whipped Dummett’s ankles from ‘neath him. Been in the wars, has the Toon man.
36 mins:
"What a goal that would have been" should be the motto on Arsenal's emblem
— Thom Gibbs (@thomgibbs) December 13, 2014
34 mins: Close! Newcastle very nearly equalise, as Colback whips over a free-kick which Gouffran bundles towards goal, Szczesny makes a good diving save then Cisse tries to snaffle the rebound, but smacks the thing against the keeper’s legs instead.
Updated
33 mins: Painful one for Dummett, who is tripped by Flamini then falls on the ball, right into his ribs. Ouch. From the free-kick, Newcastle should probably be awarded a penalty after Welbeck controls said ball with his arm, but nothing given.
31 mins: Sweet fancy Moses what a goal that would’ve been. Arsenal ping the ball around like it’s on a bit of elastic, Cazorla scoops it over the Newcastle defence for Welbeck who hooks a volley towards goal, but it goes just wide of the post.
Updated
29 mins: Olé! Mertesacker inspires some cheer from the home crowd by dropping a shoulder and making something of a mug out of Cisse. Bit early for showboating, BFG.
28 mins: Gadzooks. Hector Bellerin very nearly makes something all on his own, picking up the ball on the right and driving in a diagonal line straight towards goal, beating a couple of men in the process, but a slightly heavy touch halts things. Impressive stuff from the young full-back, whose interception led to the goal.
Updated
27 mins: Meanwhile, in another part of London...
Steve Bruce re Cahill in presser. "I don't want a fine before Christmas so I'll say piss all about it....sorry to the ladies for me French"
— Matt Davies (@mattjdaviesFC) December 13, 2014
26 mins: Newcastle attempt an attack, but Perez’s cross aiming for the far post is too long for the attackers loitering there.
24 mins: Arsenal don’t do anything with that corner, mind.
23 mins: Sanchez’s washboard stomach takes another battering - he’s tripped by Ameobi, then Colback belts the ball into his mid-section. From the free-kick, Williamson rather needlessly heads a ball behind that was heading that way even without his intervention.
21 mins: Penalty shout for Arsenal, but it’s not given and it’s quite the strange one. Sanchez picks it up on the right wing and cuts it back towards Giroud on the edge of the area. The Frenchman sticks out his leg as if to shield the ball from Tiote, but he only succeeds in raking his foot down the midfielder’s shin, sending them both sprawling.
19 mins: Oxlade-Chamberlain gets the ball about 30 yards out, winds up as if he’s about to absolutely batter the thing towards goal, but only succeeds in the first bit of that action.
18 mins: Welbeck tries to drive through the Newcastle defence, but with a couple of passes on either side he inexplicably just stabs the thing past some defenders, and it goes straight through to Alnwick.
16 mins: GOA...oh, no, it’s been disallowed. Welbeck gets past Janmaat, coming into the area from the left and scoops a smart finish over Alnwick and into the net, but referee Lee Mason had blown up for a tug on Janmaat as Welbeck went past him. Minor one, but probably just about right.
15 mins: Incisive, excellent and perhaps most importantly simple stuff from Arsenal. Giroud plays a pass through to Sanchez which initially looks like it’s a bit heavy and takes the Chilean a little far to the right, but Sanchez brings it under control, clips it across where Giroud powers a header on the run into the top corner. Carrollesque, that .
GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Newcastle (Giroud 15)
They’ve done a goal!
Updated
13 mins: Nothing comes of said corner and Arsenal counter, but Oxlade-Chamberlain can’t quite lift a pass through to Giroud, who was gallumphing into acres of space and might’ve had a clear run on goal, there.
12 mins: Sammy Ameobi, with his legs that look like stringy cheese, exchanges passes with Paul Dummett on the left, and they manage to win a corner.
10 mins: Welbeck clips the ball over the top looking for the run of Sanchez, but it’s too long and is gathered by Alnwick. Looks like Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain might have moved into midfield now, but one suspects it will be a rather fluid front five for Arsenal.
8 mins: Close! That rarest of things an Arsenal goal from a cross nearly comes, as Per Mertesacker gets a smart back-header to the corner at the near post, and it eludes Alnwick but hits the bar. Welbeck then manages to get himself flagged offside as they try to pick up the pieces.
7 mins: Lot of sharp haircuts in the Arsenal team today. One of them, Giroud, wins a corner after chasing Mike Williamson into the box.
6 mins: Ouch. OUCH. Naughty from Chieck Tiote, who at the very least followed through carelessly with his studs high on Sanchez’s rock-hard abs, and at worst left his boot in on the Chielean’s stomach. That’s not great. Sanchez seems fine, though.
4 mins: Sanchez grapples with a couple of Newcastle defenders and just loses out, but enough of that - here’s George Wright with some more important and relevant discussion:
‘I’m very glad you posed the key question de nos jours - vis a vis Belle and Seb.
‘It is a departure from the glory days of Tigermilk and Sinister (and to a lesser extent FYHCYWLAP), but it’s great to see the most lovely band around reinvent themselves without entirely losing their roots. My only slight concern is with the latest album title. To return briefly to the football, we’ve seen the phrase Peak Arsenal and Peak Wenger a lot lately, and an album title of Girls in Peacetime Like to Dance is surely Peak B&S. I’m starting to think they have a digitised Twee Album Generator that they use.
‘Anyway, football. I’ve got high Expectations for this one, although I suspect at the end that we’ll look at Wenger and thinking that the Boy Done Wrong Again.’
3 mins: Debuchy: Centre-Half update - he’s just won a header.
2 mins: Attacking line-up this from Arsenal. Santi Cazorla is playing in midfield, and Danny Welbeck has started in the middle just behind Olivier Giroud, meaning it could pretty easily turn into a 4-4-2 or a close approximation thereof.
1 min: We’re away. Well, not ‘we’ per se, but they’ve started playing football at least. Which is as it should be.
The teams are out on the pitch, and the Emirates DJ tries to whip the crowd into the sort of frothy frenzy for which they are famous by pumping out ‘Right Here, Right Now’ by Fatboy Slim.
Electric atmosphere at the Emirates. In the same way a small dynamo powered by a team of gerbils is electric
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 13, 2014
Updated
If you’ll pardon the shameless plug, I would encourage you to read this tale of how Wolves were ‘crowned champions of the world’ back in 1954 - 60 years ago this very day, in fact - by beating the great Honved side of the day. It’s written by a very handsome, erudite and witty young scribe. Name escapes me right now. Anyway: read.
Following some lovely banter about Alexis Sanchez’s rippling torso, Alan Smith has declared that the Chilean dynamo has been ‘doing stomachs.’ Just about get what you mean, Al.
Alan Pardew is complimenting the quality of the surface. Lovely bit of grass at the Emirates.
‘Nick, this being the anniversary of WW1,’ writes Damian Durrant, with his Key Stage Three English textbook open, ‘the whole Wenger mess and his penchant for the same attacking game brings this poem to mind:
‘GOOD-MORNING; good-morning!’ the General said
When we met him last week on our way to the line.
Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of ’em dead,
And we’re cursing his staff for incompetent swine.
‘He’s a cheery old card,’ grunted Harry to Jack 5
As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack.
. . . .
But he did for them both by his plan of attack.”
‘Siegfried Sassoon clearly had Wenger in mind.’
Well. Quite.
Updated
What do we reckon to the new Belle and Sebastian song? As a bit of a tiresome twee type, I’m slightly suspicious of it as it sounds nothing like the Tigermilk/If You’re Feeling Sinister glory days, but it is incredibly catchy.
A little like their under-appreciated disco number from a few years back ‘Your Cover’s Blown’.
There have of course been some belting games between these two sides in years past. Recent times have of course seen the 7-3 to Arsenal the season before last and Newcastle’s astonishing 4-4 comeback in February 2011. And then the 1998 FA Cup final, when Arsenal completed the double with goals from Marc Overmars and a pre-problematic Nicolas Anelka.
How about the 1952 FA Cup final, though? Arsenal had finished third that year and were probably favourites, but were banjaxed rather by an injury to Walley Barnes, and in the days before subs, they had to soldier on with just ten men. Things got worse for the Gooners when centre-forward Cliff Holton, winger Don Roper and centre-half Ray Daniel also suffered injuries, leaving them with just seven fit men running around on the pitch by the end.
Alan Ross reported for the Observer:
For Arsenal there can only be sympathy. Their remarkable luck in the draw, which in truth brought them only a series of minnows to swallow, was to a large extent counteracted by their seemingly never-ending casualty list in the last days before the final. Their dream of a League and Cup double abruptly faded,, they were even jostled out of being runners-up by the Spurs, and then yesterday, for all but 25 minutes of the game, Barnes, the mainspring of their defence, was off the field. It was a cruel revenge...
With the Arsenal players strewn like corpses over the ground, the whistle went. The massed bands of the Brigade of Guards marched on, Newcastle had won the cup twice running, the only team to do so in this century, and yet, with Harvey leading his team up to the Prime Minister, much of the cheering seemed to be for his defeated opponents.
Get a load of that absolutely filthy dribble by Newcastle’s outside left Bobby Mitchell, and while that eventually ended in failure, he did set up the only goal, a header for inside-left George Robledo.
That Arsenal bench - Two made-up players, three strikers you don't want and a defender you forgot you had.
— Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) December 13, 2014
Team news
Newcastle
Alnwick; Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett; Tiote, Colback; Gouffran, Perez, Ameobi; Cisse. Subs: Woodman, Haidara, Anita, Vuckic, Cabella, Armstrong, Riviere.
Arsenal
Szczesny; Bellerin, Debuchy, Mertesacker, Gibbs; Flamini, Cazorla; Oxlade-Chamberlain, Alexis, Welbeck; Giroud. Subs: Martinez, Ajayi, Coquelin, Maitland-Niles, Campbell, Podolski, Sanogo
Debuchy has never played there, I asked him already. The solution I have to decide will not be ideal. It will be a gamble. But there is not a massive difference between right-back and centre-back.”
If someone was to write a sitcom about Arséne Wenger...well, firstly they should stop that before they get too far because that would be a terrible idea. Why would you do that? Don’t be a buffoon. Write some haikus or something instead. But if someone was to write a sitcom about Wenger, perhaps lampooning the Arsenal manager, then the above would surely be laughed out of the room. Nope, too obvious, go back and try again. This verily is peak Wenger, putting a full-back in a position in which he’s never played before and possibly subjecting him to a torrid afternoon, and all because the boss didn’t do his job properly in the summer and buy a central defender.
Not even necessarily a good central defender, or one better than they already have, but someone...anyone. Arsenal suffering a defensive crisis after going into the season with just six senior stoppers in their squad was the most obviously predictable thing in the world, to anyone apart from Wenger, it seems. It would have been suicide for a team without Arsenal’s history of constant knack, but as they most certainly do suffer from that...well.
If everybody’s fit, we don’t need to go into the transfer market.
Jesus. I mean...Jesus.
Still, if he would like some comfort then he only has to look in Alan Pardew’s - sorry, that’s manager of the month Alan Pardew’s - direction, as ol’ Chunky reckons Arsenal should be getting out the chisels and hammering out Wenger’s name on the side of the Emirates...which might well be true. He has after all done very many magnificent things for the club that he very clearly loves, but the longer he stays then the more damage he is doing to that reputation. He is, to borrow a phrase from Guardian of times past, shredding his legacy at every turn.
Of course Arsenal win today, then presumably that will mean everything is cool again, and there’s nothing really to worry about. Until they draw Bayern Munich in the Champions League on Monday, naturally.
Arsenal vs Newcastle tomorrow... pic.twitter.com/Q0q7Gf74gx
— Ali Tweedale (@alitweedale) December 12, 2014
Pardew himself isn’t exactly flush with options either. Indeed, as you can see there are some 23 players missing from this game from both teams. That’s an entire major international tournament squad on the sidelines due to injury or suspension. It could be an absolute horror show of a game this, and for that reason you should stick around for the chaos.
Kick-off: 5.30pm.
Nick will be here soon.
