David Hytner’s match report
Full time: Arsenal 2-0 Crystal Palace
That’s your lot. Arsenal go back up to third, a point above Spurs and Manchester City, after a win that was totally routine, save for Olivier Giroud’s spectacular opening goal, which was anything but. It’s the only thing we’ll remember from this game in a year’s time, and a moment of individual brilliance that may take the next 12 months to top. Thanks for joining me; our match report will follow shortly. Cheerio!
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92 mins: Palace’s hardy away following cheer as their team string a few passes together – but they’re soon on the back foot, Sánchez skipping into the area and teeing up Oxlade-Chamberlain, in acres of space. Hennessey gets down well to parry his low shot, and keep it at 2-0.
91 mins: Three added minutes.
90 mins: His cross-shot is flicked over the bar by Tomkins. From the corner, it’s worked back to Xhaka, whose shot is closed down.
89 mins: Ramsey is tripped by Tomkins, picking up a yellow card and conceding a free kick. Xhaka will swing this one in from wide on the right...
87 mins: Ramsey gets involved, picking up Oxlade-Chamberlain’s pass, carving out a yard of space and smashing a shot just wide of Hennessey’s near post.
85 mins: A textbook New Year’s Day scoreline in the National League, where it’s finished Forest Green 5-5 Torquay.
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83 mins: Zaha slips between Monreal and Coquelin, forcing the former to take one for the team with a cynical clip to his heels. He is booked, but Mutch’s free-kick drifts out of play.
81 mins: Ward and Kelly have been put through their paces at full-back today. Oxlade-Chamberlain is the latest to put the hurt on Ward, zipping past him down the right and firing a low cross that’s cleared away.
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80 mins: This match is meandering towards a conclusion, with two of Palace’s first-choice attacking threats off the pitch. So, why not watch this instead:
Laurent did it better #nufc pic.twitter.com/qrzSODgCpJ
— Andrew (@designboz) January 1, 2017
78 mins: Sánchez cuts inside and crosses towards Giroud, who doesn’t make contact but distracts Hennessey, who has to make an awkward one-handed save to keep it from drifting into the far corner.
76 mins: Change for Palace, with Benteke replaced by Campbell. The scoreline suggests he should be staying on, his performance less so – but perhaps, with Swansea visiting Selhurst Park on Tuesday, he and Townsend are being rested.
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75 mins: Sánchez takes it, but fires his free-kick into the wall. One final change for Arsenal, with goalscorer Iwobi replaced by Oxlade-Chamberlain.
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74 mins: Arsenal have changed shape slightly, with Ramsey and Coquelin beefing up central midfield, leaving Iwobi and Sánchez to support Giroud. Bellerín is brought down 25 yards out, just right of goal. Xhaka and Sánchez are over the free kick...
71 mins: Two Arsenal changes, as Elneny and Lucas head off, replaced by Ramsey and Coquelin. One for Palace, with Townsend replaced by Lee Chung-yong.
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70 mins: Zaha doesn’t track Bellerín back downfield, and the Arsenal man’s cut-back is hacked away. Xhaka then tries to test Hennessey from a long, long way out, but his shot is deflected behind.
69 mins: Zaha does get the better of Bellerín down the left this time, and his low cross is smartly cleared away by Xhaka, who’s been quietly impressive again today.
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67 mins: Bellerín, described by Gary Neville as “a good full-back” and “not a great defender” in quick succession, makes a smart interception to strip the ball from Zaha. He combines with the useful Lucas down the right, but his cross in the direction of Giroud is claimed by Hennessey.
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65 mins: Townsend and Zaha are finding, to their amazement, that when they venture into the Arsenal half, they’re getting some joy. Townsend leads a counter attack that ends with a slightly wild Zaha effort, but they’re making in-roads. An attacking change here, as Cabaye is replaced by Jordon Mutch.
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“Big Sam should wear one of those helmet hats with cup holders and straws so he can sip on some lager as he watches his new team” says JR in Illinois. “And when Zaha leaves for a month he might want to replace the lager with gin. Or paint thinner.”
63 mins: Townsend sends another deep cross in which catches Cech off guard, forcing the keeper to tip it behind.
62 mins: Arsenal try to shake off their traditional post-goal slump, Sánchez again front-and-centre, but the move peters out.
60 mins: From the corner, Kelly miskicks as the ball bobbles into his path, before Townsend stings Cech’s palms again from the left of the area. If only the visitors had started the second half like this...
59 mins: Palace win a corner, and Benteke forces Cech into an awkward save with a bullet header. The ball is cleared as far as Cabaye, whose long-distance effort has Cech back-pedalling to turn the ball wide!
That could go down as a Joel Ward own goal, the Palace full-back attempting to clear, but heading the ball in off his own bar. That rather sums up Palace’s day.
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Sánchez has had Palace dancing to his tune all game long, and he sends several defenders the wrong way with a reverse pass to Monreal, whose cross is cleared by Dann, high into the air. It lands in the six-yard box, and Iwobi heads over Hennessey and into the roof of the net, despite the efforts of two Palace players on the line.
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Crystal Palace (Iwobi)
Palace can’t keep Arsenal out any longer, Alex Iwobi with an agreeably scrappy goal, in contrast to the opener.
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53 mins: “Up! Up! Up!” shouts Allardyce, looking ever more like an irate binman on the touchline. Palace don’t listen, and Sánchez drifts inside and picks out Lucas Pérez, whose cross wafts out of play.
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50 mins: The pattern from the first half has returned, with Arsenal stringing silky passes around in front of a packed Palace defence. Sánchez pulls off a flamboyant stepover in space, but drills his pass to Lucas straight at a defender.
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49 mins: Moments later, a scramble sees Iwobi’s shot blocked before Sánchez lashes at goal. It could have gone anywhere, but smashes off the fortunate, or unfortunate, Scott Dann and out to safety.
48 mins: Arsenal try to make Palace pay, Sánchez drilling a pass to Lucas, who steers it across goal, with nobody there.
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46 mins: Palace’s best chance by a mile, as Townsend cuts back onto his left foot, and hangs a cross up towards Benteke. He has the jump on Bellerín, but doesn’t get a clean header, the ball squirting past the far post!
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Peep!
We’re back under way. Bellerín immediately bursts down the right, but his low cross is cleared away.
The internet is currently ablaze with scorpion kicks and flicks from the archive. Thanks to ‘Mister Justin’ for this one:
“Arsène seems complacently to have disposed of his general’s hat, with scenes of comic bedragglement in front of goal to follow” says Charles Antaki. “Hopefully it’s hanging up somewhere handy for the second half.”
Half time: Arsenal 1-0 Crystal Palace
A first half memorable only for an extraordinary Olivier Giroud goal. If Palace want this game to be remembered for anything else, they’ll need to get their act together. Back soon.
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45 mins: Another defensive masterclass from Palace, Kelly toe-poking a harmless Bellerín cross back into danger, allowing Sánchez a free hit from close to the penalty spot. Hennessey saves, and Palace are let off the hook.
43 mins: Palace have begun to inch upfield, but Arsenal exploit the gaps, the ball worked to Sánchez, whose shot from 20 yards has power, but flies into Hennessey’s arms. There’ll be one minute of added time.
41 mins: Zaha finally gets some forward momentum, jinking away from Giroud and drawing a foul. Another long ball, another meek effort by Benteke to reel it in, and it bounces through to Cech.
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38 mins: Shades of a training exercise, with Arsenal’s wide players trying to find inventive ways of infiltrating a crowded penalty area. Sánchez races to the byline, then back, and hits an angled cross over everybody’s heads.
36 mins: Iwobi tries to lift the ball towards Giroud, who has drifted offside. Arsenal’s intensity dropping again, as half-time approaches.
34 mins: Elneny has all the time in the world to slot a pass to Lucas Pérez, whose cushioned pass finds Sánchez on the corner of the penalty area. His shot swerves wide of the far post, the entire move happening without a Palace player getting within three yards of an opponent.
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32 mins: Townsend and Kelly are getting in each other’s way trying to deal with Sánchez, whose looping cross finds Monreal, a fraction offside. This has been an entirely enjoyable first half hour for Arsenal.
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30 mins: Elneny threads a pass over Crystal Palace’s ten-man defence, but Bellerín is unable to keep his cross in play.
28 mins: Palace enjoy a spell of possession in the Arsenal half, and Townsend looks to find Zaha with a deep cross. It’s overhit, and by some distance.
26 mins: Iwobi dances in the penalty area, then lays the ball back to Elneny, steaming forward from midfield, who slaps an ambitious 30-yarder a long way wide. Arsenal may be trying to score a better goal than Giroud’s, and that’s to be applauded.
Here’s Will W with a lesser-spotted scorpion kick – second in the clip, and “the first one isn’t bad either”:
24 mins: Arsenal have slowed the pace down, stroking it around before a Palace break is ended by the half-hearted Benteke drifting offside.
22 mins: I’ll be honest, I’m still thinking about the goal.
20 mins: Townsend almost gives us something else to savour, trying to prevent a corner and almost handing the ball to Monreal five yards out. Hennessey scrambles to spare his team-mate’s blushes.
Scorpion kicks, they’re like buses. You wait years for one, etc and so on. I particularly enjoyed the lusty “ooooh” from the crowd when it was replayed on the Emirates big screen.
Palace tried to break upfield, and were immediately caught short at the back, the ball worked swiftly to Sánchez on the left. His cross was high and behind Giroud, lurking 12 yards out, but the striker executed a sublime scorpion kick, sending the ball in off the bar with his left heel!
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GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Crystal Palace (Giroud)
Henrikh Mkhitaryan, eat your heart out. Olivier Giroud may have just scored the goal of the season!
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15 mins: Iwobi tests Hennessey from 12 yards out, but the keeper gathers his slippery low shot at the second time of asking.
13 mins: Arsenal continue their efforts to unpick the Palace defence, but Sánchez’s return ball to the lively Lucas Pérez is overhit, and Palace have a chance to relieve the pressure.
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11 mins: Arsenal have hit their straps early on, and Lucas combines artfully with Elneny, and then Bellerín, lofting a pass towards the full-back that’s cleared away. It comes straight back, and Sánchez lets rip from 25 yards out, his shot pinging a foot wide of Hennessey’s far post.
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On manager’s hats, Justin Kavanagh says “I’m seeing Arsène in a Napoleon’s hat, with hand hidden in his big long puffy coat, with Big Sam dressed as the Duke of Wellington in the other coach’s area.” Allardyce, disappointingly, has a regulation beanie on.
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8 mins: Townsend steps on Monreal’s ankle chasing a 50-50 ball, and is lucky to escape further action from birthday boy Andre Marriner.
6 mins: How are Arsenal not ahead here? Xhaka, pulling the strings behind that creative trio, slots an identical low pass, this time to Monreal on the left. He cuts back to Giroud, unmarked at the near post – but he doesn’t make contact, and his weird flailing puts off Lucas, stationed on the other side of goal!
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5 mins: Lucas, Iwobi and Sánchez are swirling behind Giroud, causing Palace all sorts of problems. Iwobi tries a diagonal daisy-cutter to Bellerín, but it’s just about cut out.
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4 mins: There’s a muted atmosphere in the early stages, which means we can hear Keith Millen bellowing at Wilfried Zaha to track back. Lucas, who was excellent against Basel in the Champions League from the right, almost latches on to a through-ball, but Hennessey is out smartly to clear.
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“At last the answer to Arsène’s worries about his players faffing about before scoring” says Charles Antaki. “Procure one of those superb general’s hats and all will be resolved.” I’m surprised Antonio Conte doesn’t wear one already.
2 min: Iwobi toe-pokes a pass through to Sánchez, who barrels in from the left but gets crowded out. Corner, which Xhaka swings just out of reach of Koscielny. Palace not exactly well-drilled at the back early on.
Peep!
We’re off...
The players are out at a drizzly, dark Emirates Stadium. Predictions? I’m going to stick my neck out, and say Arsenal will shade possession, and win by one late goal. In meaningless milestone news, this is the 200th Premier League game played here:
Best way to mark the milestone? 3️⃣️ points please#AFCvCPFC pic.twitter.com/VvFIBguo9c
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) January 1, 2017
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The quality of football in this clip escalates dramatically:
This has everything. Goal mouth scramble, long range belter, scorer called Kok, manager in a general's hat, the lot pic.twitter.com/Z0PoTVwJ3E
— Ben (@bnstvns) January 1, 2017
The aforementioned warm-up proved too much for Ezekiel Fryers, who picked up an injury and is replaced on the bench by academy graduate Michael Phillips. Palace’s squad is stretched thin; Sam Allardyce confirms that James Tomkins has been rushed back with a lack of defensive options. Arsène Wenger says he’s been forced to rotate, with a trip to Bournemouth coming up on Tuesday.
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Half an hour to go; the players are out warming up in assorted beanies, leggings and snoods. Would you like to see a picture of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain feeding a baby tiger? Of course you would.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain feeding milk to a tiger pic.twitter.com/hzAF5KlVtq
— Ftbllrs with Animals (@ftbllrswanimals) December 8, 2016
Result!
It finished Watford 1-4 Tottenham at Vicarage Road. Rob Smyth watched it unfold:
Spurs climb above Arsenal in the table, for now. A surprise win for Palace would leave the Gunners stuck in fifth, and the bottom three a little isolated. If you’ve no idea what the table looks like, after the relentless flurry of festive football (there’s more games tomorrow, you know), it’s here.
Some enjoyable pre-match reading from David Hytner, on Arsène Wenger’s long history with Sam Allardyce:
No Mesut Özil for Arsenal today – he’s unwell, so the grapevine tells me – so Lucas Pérez gets his first Premier League start since the opening day. Nacho Monreal replaces Kieran Gibbs at left-back, and Mohamed Elneny is in for Francis Coquelin, who’s on the bench.
Allardyce makes just one change, with James Tomkins back in central defence in place of Damien Delaney, who is on the naughty step after picking up a fifth booking against Watford.
Teams
Arsenal: Cech; Bellerín, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal; Elneny, Xhaka; Lucas Pérez, Iwobi, Sánchez; Giroud.
Subs: Ospina, Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Mustafi, Reine-Adélaïde, Coquelin, Maitland-Niles.
Crystal Palace: Hennessey; Ward, Dann, Tomkins, Kelly; Flamini, Puncheon, Cabaye; Townsend, Zaha, C Benteke.
Subs: Speroni, Campbell, Lee, Fryers, Mutch, Sako, Husin.
Referee: Andre Marriner
Preamble
Happy new year! 366 days ago, Arsenal began 2016 top of the league, with Crystal Palace in fifth, four points off the top four. Things were looking up, but right on cue, the wheels came off. Arsenal finished 10 points behind Leicester, whose march to the title would have stung both these sides, for different reasons.
There were small victories – member St. Totteringham’s Day? Member Pards dancing? – but while Arsenal sputtered and stalled, Palace put the whole thing in reverse, and six (SIX) league wins in the whole year meant Pards danced no more. He’s replaced by Sam Allardyce, another for whom 2016 was, to put it mildly, a bit of a mixed bag.
Big Sam used to enjoy these tussles with Arsène Wenger, but hasn’t won a league game against Arsenal since his Blackburn days. It’s been an even longer wait for Palace – Whigfield was No1 the last time they took three points home from North London – Highbury to be precise, back in 1994.
For both managers, both teams, and the rest of us, bleary and remorseful, today is the perfect time to start again. Kick-off is at 4pm GMT; teams to follow.
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