Full-time: Arsenal 2-0 Borussia Dortmund
That’s your lot! Arsenal are through to the last 16 thanks to goals from Yaya Sanogo - yes, really - and Alexis Sanchez! They needed that win and showed plenty of tactical discipline when they went 2-0 up. Anyway that’s your lot. Thanks for reading. Good night.
90 min+2: Martinez, who’s had little to do in the second half, makes a good save from Ramos. He was set up by Kagawa - well, the Japanese midfielder handled it into his path - and was clear in the area but his low shot was saved expertly by Martinez, who’s done well.
90 min: There will be four minutes of admin.
89 min: Joel Campbell - remember him? - replaces the excellent Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
89 min: Cazorla wafts the free-kick over the bar.
88 min: The irrepressible Sanchez somehow manages to bustle past two or three Dortmund players and win himself a free-kick. He’s not bad. “I think it is important to note that at 2-0 and 82 minutes people are still writing “if Arsenal win this..”,” says Neil Bailey. “See lessons have been learned - by the fans at least.”
85 min: Drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drum drummity drummy drum.
82 min: Gundogan fires a shot straight at Martinez from 20 yards. The keeper’s handling has been sure. “If Arsenal win this, we can grumble how the 3-3 with Anderlecht cost us first place,” says Giles Goodhead. “Then again, we were lucky to win in Belgium. Then again, we had a tough(ish) group. Then again, should we even be a top seed? But yes, we are the greatest team the world ever saw. You sing what you’ve got.”
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79 min: Yaya Sanogo receives a warm reception as he limps off clutching his hamstring. Lukas Podolski replaces him. Can’t Arsenal just have one night without one of their players getting injured?
78 min: Dortmund finally show up in attack. It’s been a while. Kagawa tees up Grosskreutz on the left but his low cross slithers across the face o goal and behind. If only Dortmund had a Robert Lewandowski or an Anthony Vanden Borre. Ah well. That’s Grosskreutz’s final act, Milos Jojic coming on in his place.
76 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain brilliantly brings the ball down after being picked out by a cross-field diagonal from Sanchez but he blazes over from the right side of the Dortmund area. Oxlade-Chamberlain has had a good game tonight.
73 min: Still, the Dortmund fans haven’t stopped singing. They’ve currently got their scarves aloft as they keep chanting.
72 min: Subotic shoots from 35 yards, a sure sign that Dortmund have run out of ideas.
71 min: Sanogo has a chuckle after being penalised for a foul on Gundogan. He can afford to laugh. He’s had a good night. His first Arsenal goal! Sure, it was offside, but they won’t put that in the record books.
68 min: Play is stopped so Ramos and Mertesacker can receive treatment after a clash of heads in the Arsenal area.
66 min: Arteta is lying on the turf and has signalled that he needs to come off. That’s a blow for Arsenal on an otherwise excellent night. Mathieu Flamini comes on. I’m not sure what’s wrong with Arteta but I suspect it’s a muscular problem. Arteta shakes his head as he walks off.
64 min: Adrian Ramos has conceded two fouls since coming on which means he is going at quite an impressive rate.
63 min: The score, as it stands this week, is Premier League 10-2 Bundesliga.
61 min: Shinji Kagawa and Adrian Ramos replace the ineffective pair of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Ciro Immobile.
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Borussia Dortmund (Sanchez, 57 min)
Just for moment, there’s no noise from the Dortmund drum. Alexis Sanchez has silenced the Dortmund drum with a stunning goal. He was found by Ramsey on the left and cut inside, Piszczeck unable to get tight enough to him, and then bent a gloriously low curling shot towards the far post from 25 yards out with his right foot. It seemed to be swerving outside the post but then dipped back in and the despairing Weidenfeller didn’t have a prayer! Arsenal, deservedly, have a second goal and surely they can’t throw this away from here.
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54 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain hits the bar with a magnificent volley! Weidenfeller didn’t move an inch! He got in front of Schmelzer as the ball headed their way from the left. He chested it down, waited before the ball was at the right height and then looped a spectacular, arcing volley over Weidenfeller and against the face of the bar from 20 yards! He’s so unlucky not to have doubled Arsenal’s lead there but Wenger will take encouragement from the last few minutes.
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51 min: So Arsenal turn to Alexis Sanchez. He nips in front of Piszczeck to reach a pass from Sanogo and scampers through the middle, Piszczeck unable to tackle him given that he’s already on a booking. Sanchez works the ball on to his right foot and smacks a low shot towards the bottom-left corner, drawing an extremely good save from Weidenfeller, who pushes it wide.
50 min: Gundogan tries a ball over the top to Aubameyang. Mertesacker heads it down but Mkhitaryan darts in front of the dozing Ramsey and is able to drill a shot straight at Martinez from 20 yards. Arsenal could do with recovering some of their first-half urgency.
48 min: Arsenal haven’t had much of a sniff since the start of the second half. Jurgen Klopp probably had a few words with his players during the break.
47 min: Aubameyang slips Immobile, who has been poor, in behind the Arsenal defence, but the flag’s up for offside. Yes, “by far the greatest team.. etc” is indeed an inopportune chant, and a terrible piece of music to boot,” says Charles Antaki. “It may have been more or less defensible if sung by followers of Brazil in say 1970, but unless anyone can provide audio recordings in evidence, I’d say that that was unlikely.”
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46 min: Dortmund get the second half going. Can Arsenal play with as much vim and vigour in the second half? Well, it’s a positive start from the visitors, Grosskreutz beating Chambers on the left and charging down the wing, but he he takes too long to put a cross in and the move dies a death.
Half-time: Arsenal 1-0 Borussia Dortmund
That’s it for a first half in which Arsenal have been the better side. They’re 45 minutes away from a morale-boosting victory thanks to Yaya Sanogo’s first goal for the club and they have been the better side, although Dortmund have had a few threatening moments and will surely improve after the break. You’d have to think so anyway. Klopp won’t like their lack of intensity, even though they’re already through. But as it stands, Arsenal will be joining them in the last 16.
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45 min: A long pass is hoicked down the right to Aubameyang, who’s got the speed to reach it. Mertesacker comes across to confront him and seems to foul him by shoving an arm in his chest but play continues. But not for long, because...
43 min: Gundogan tries to pierce the Arsenal defence with a pass inside Gibbs to Piszczeck but it’s overhit. Back come Dortmund, though. A clearance falls to Bender outside the area and his volley is comfortably held by Martinez. Meanwhile a replay seems to suggest that Sanogo was half a yard offside when he scored the opener.
39 min: Martinez makes a fine save to keep Arsenal in the lead! Gundogan, with an age to make up his mind in the middle of the park, sprayed a wonderful pass over Gibbs and towards Piszczeck, who had escaped the attentions of Sanchez. He nodded it down to Mkhitaryan, who burst past Arteta and tried to slide it under Martinez, who was able to stick out a leg and turn the ball past the post. I believe that’s the first save the young goalkeeper’s had to make and he’s not let his side down when called upon.
37 min: Piszczeck is booked for a tug of Gibbs’s shirt. The free-kick from Cazorla is a nonsensical waste of time, clunked straight into the one-man wall. I mean really.
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36 min: Arsenal are playing the quicker, more incisive football. They zip through the middle again, Dortmund struggling to keep up with them, and Sanchez almost slides Ramsey through, but Subotic denies him.
33 min: The Arsenal fans are singing that their team is by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. Is that the worst chant in football?
30 min: Cazorla embarrasses Immobile with a lovely piece of skill on the right - such quick feet - and whips a dangerous cross to the far post, where Pisczeck heads behind for a corner. Nothing comes from it.
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28 min: Pisczeck crosses but it’s catching practice for young Damien Martinez, who hasn’t had to make a save yet. Dortmund have been a little undercooked in attack so far. They’re not playing with much intensity. “Ever tried it with walnut mustard?” says James Funnell. “It turns a Rooney into an Aguero.” I dislike mustard. Yes, really.
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27 min: Weidenfeller punches Sanchez’s corner away. That’s what.
26 min: Sanchez plays a clever pass down the line to Gibbs, who wins a corner for Arsenal. What can they do with it?
25 min: Dortmund zap the ball between themselves in midfield. Arsenal are chasing shadows. Pisczeck bursts into the area and tumbles as Ramsey sticks out a leg but the referee isn’t interested. It looked like Ramsey got the ball first.
23 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain catches Pisczeck in the face with a stray arm and scoots off down the left, before curling in a cross that Weidenfeller palms away. Dortmund put the ball out of play so their stricken right-back can receive some treatment but he’s okay to continue.
21 min: A slack header from Mertesacker gifts possession to Aubameyang on the left but his pass through to Immobile is overhit and Gibbs is across to mop up. But Arsenal were exposed. Moments later, Dortmund threaten again. Immobile finds space in the area but falls under a challenge from Monreal. The ball runs to Grosskreutz, who clips a ball to the far post to Mkhitaryan. He brings it down and then volleys over under pressure.
19 min: Bender knocks the ball out to Pisczeck on the right. The Pole takes a touch and then slams a superb cross into the six-yard box. Martinez can’t reach but, fortunately for Arsenal, nor can Immobile. An escape for the home side.
16 min: “I have never heard the term “salt beef” before, so I internet search-engine’d it, thinking that maybe an entirely new and uncharted world of sandwich enjoyment lay before me...and it’s just a corned beef sandwich,” says Daniel Stauss. “It’s just corned beef. Shame on you.” I don’t see the problem.
15 min: This is mightily impressive from Arsenal. They reckon Dortmund are there for the taking and the Germans don’t look convincing at the back at all. For once, it’s Arsenal doing the counter-attacking! This time it’s a fast break from Ramsey down the right, away from Schmelzer. Eventually it comes to Cazorla on the edge of the area and his hooked pass over the top sends Sanchez clear but the bounce just forces him wide and he scuffs his shot. Dortmund look to make their way up the pitch but Arteta fouls Mkhitaryan from behind and is booked.
14 min: Some aimless Dortmund pressure comes to nothing and Arsenal spring on them. Sanchez collects the ball on the left and twists and turns and tempts Subotic into a wild clump that earns him a booking.
11 min: Now Sanchez turns up the pace, winning a corner off Ginter on the right. But from the corner, it’s Arsenal’s turn to find themselves short at the back as Dortmund break. Mkhitaryan tries to play Aubameyang through on goal but Gibbs slides in brilliantly to deny the Dortmund forward, who isn’t exactly a slouch when he gets going.
9 min: Yaya Sanogo may well be the new Sergio Aguero. Dortmund lose the ball just inside the Arsenal half and suddenly the break is on, Cazorla playing Sanogo through with the visitors’ defence caught far too high up the pitch. He’s onside and gallops down the middle - but then loses his nerve as he reaches the area, trying to check inside when he could have shot. Schmelzer gets the tackle in but Sanogo immediately wins the ball back, ducks inside and sees a shot desperately blocked off target by a covering defender. The ball loops up towards the left and Oxlade-Chamberlain heads a nothing chance high and wide.
8 min: It’s been a solid start from Arsenal. They haven’t allowed Dortmund to settle at all. Wenger will be delighted. Sanogo looks like a proper handful.
6 min: There’s a suggestion that Calum Chambers has picked up a knock. Not to worry, Arsenal have plenty of defenders on the ... ah. But there doesn’t seem to be much wrong with Chambers as he speeds up the right flank, though he’s unable to get a cross in.
5 min: The Dortmund fans are still banging their drum. “Your thesis on Dortmund being the hipster team betrays an astonishing lack of knowledge on hipster culture,” says Matthew Wilhelm-Solomon. “First, a true hipster would never support a team higher then the German Liga 3. Second, Klopp’s beard is far too thin.”
3 min: Well, what a start for Sango and, of course, Arsenal. Boy, did they need something like that to settle the nerves and get the fans onside. But here come Dortmund! A long ball down the right finds Aubameyang racing in behind Monreal. He hooks it back into the area but behind the two Dortmund players who were racing up in support. It comes to Immobile 20 yards from goal but his shot hits Grosskreutz, who was offside.
GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Borussia Dortmund (Sanogo, 2 min)
What a time for Yaya Sanogo to score his first goal for Arsenal and he’s taken it so well! And to think there were people doubting him. He collected the ball on the right side of the Dortmund area and held off the defender well, controlling it with his chest and then flicking it back to Cazorla, who immediately poked a pass back into Sanogo’s path. There was a wee hint of offside but the flag stayed down and Sanogo gathered the ball and stroked it through the legs of Weidenfeller!
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Peep! And we’re off! Arsenal get the ball rolling and they’ll be kicking from left to right in the first half. Already someone in the Dortmund end is banging a drum to a rhythmic beat, but then the Arsenal fans rise as their side attacks down the left. A cross comes in and Ginter hooks it clear.
Here come the teams! “Arsenal! Arsenal! Arsenal!” chant one set of fans. “Dortmund! Dortmund! Dortmund!” chant the other. Then they fall silent in respect of the Champions League anthem. You won’t catch anyone booing it here, not like those Manchester City fans last night.
Merse is tipping Arsenal to win. He’s clearly trying to get back in Wenger’s good books.
“We want to play to win the game,” insights Arsene Wenger. Just don’t send too many men forward if you happen to find yourselves a goal down.
I have finished the salt beef sandwich. On Sky Sports 1, there is a programme about Arsenal’s Invincible season. It’s very entertaining - look, an interview with Edu! On an unrelated note, Arsenal start tonight with Nacho Monreal in central defence and Yaya Sanogo up front. Danny Welbeck is nowhere to be seen and Olivier Giroud isn’t registered for the Champions League. And still Lukas Podolski can’t get a game. Lukas, I think they’re trying to tell you something. “Is that picture of Jürgen Klopp when he learned that Sanogo is starting tonight?!” says Gary P. “He doesn’t know yet, the joke is on him!”
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Because I am the man who makes the salt beef sandwich go away.
Why, you may ask?
I am eating a salt beef sandwich.
If there is a greater invention in the history of humanity than a salt beef sandwich, then I would like to hear about it. But you won’t be able to come up with anything.
The teams!
Arsenal: Martinez; Chambers, Mertesacker, Monreal, Gibbs; Arteta, Ramsey; Oxlade-Chamberlain, Cazorla, Sanchez; Sanogo. Subs: Huddart, Koscielny, Rosicky, Podolski, Flamini, Campbell, Bellerin.
Borussia Dortmund: Weidenfeller; Piszczek, Subotic, Ginter, Schmelzer; Bender, Gundogan; Aubameyang, Mkhitaryan, Grosskreutz; Immobile. Subs: Langerak, Hornschuh, Kehl, Kagawa, Jojic, Ramos, Durm.
Referee: Viktor Kassai (Hungary)
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Preamble
Well, it’s official – German football is finished. It’s rubbish, they’ve had their fun, their five minutes in the sun, but it’s over and the Premier League is where it’s at again. You watch, this time next year we’ll all be laughing at ourselves, wondering how we could all have been so foolish, how we could have held the Bundesliga in such high esteem. Oooohhhh, their tickets are really cheap, they let you drink, they let you stand, the atmosphere is great, Germany won the World Cup - that’s supposed to impress us, is it? Fine, whatever, but they didn’t look too clever when Chelsea were ramming five goals past Schalke on their own patch and Manchester City Sergio Aguero embarrassed Bayern Munich on a typically tremendous Champions League night for the Premier League.
And just look at the state of poor old Borussia Dortmund! Previously the hipster’s choice (translation for simple folk: people who take an interest in exciting, likeable football teams enjoy watching them and wish them well), Jurgen Klopp’s team are third-bottom in the Bundesliga after making a dreadful start to the season, winning a mere three of their first 12 matches and never passing up an opportunity to shoot themselves in the foot. If ever a team’s languishing, it’s Dortmund. Although, come to think of it, perhaps this actually makes them even more hipsterish. Hmmm. Perhaps I haven’t thought this through. Ah well. We’ll press on regardless. I’m too far in. I’m overcommitted. I’m not rewriting now.
Anyway while it’s been miserable for Dortmund domestically - stupid defeats, leads lost, key players injured (Marco Reus went down with torn ankle ligaments on Saturday) – they’ve been having a swell time in Europe. They’re top of their group with four wins from four, scoring 13 and conceding one. Arsenal, Anderlecht and Galatasaray have all been thumped and humiliated and the quality of Dortmund’s performances means that they have to be considered among the favourites to win the Champions League. If they could do that while getting relegated, well, they would probably cement themselves as the greatest cult heroes of all time. But that’s a long way off and, really, it’s unlikely to happen. What we know for now is that they have qualified from the group and a draw with Arsenal tonight will ensure that they finish first.
Which explains why Jurgen Klopp was speaking about the Champions League being a nice holiday for him. Despite it all, he’s still kidding around and charming English journalists, the old smoothball, but life is rather more awkward for Arsene Wenger at the moment. Funny how it works, isn’t it? He’s not in the relegation zone in his league, is he? No, he’s not. But Arsenal are 8th and, let’s be honest, they have been miserable so far this season, [WRITER TO INSERT POINT ABOUT NOT SIGNING A DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER AND A DEFENDER HERE] with many people asking why Wenger failed to sign a defender and a defensive midfielder in the summer.
Oh Arsenal. They’ve won four times in the league, they collapsed from three goals up in their previous group match against Anderlecht, they remain vulnerable to quick counter-attacks and the old mental failings have been sorely evident. It’s not helped that important players keep picking up injuries but Arsenal’s fans seem increasingly unhappy with Wenger. Saturday’s defeat against an unimpressive Manchester United was not taken well and no wonder. Still, maybe they can get back on track tonight. Who knows what a win here could do for their season? Wenger’s still bullish enough, calling this one of the best teams he has ever had, and they do only need a point from their final two matches to reach the knock-out stages. That said, it’s hard to shake off the feeling that German football will be back in our good books come the end of the night.
Kick-off: 7.45pm.
