Solitude is essential for some personality types. But spending time alone yet longing for social interaction could severely impact your mental and physical health.
We’d like to understand why people spend time alone. Is it out of choice, or would you prefer more social interaction? Share your experiences and thoughts – anonymously if you wish – using the form below and we’ll use a selection in our reporting.
Guardian commenter Onona wrote, on a discussion about understanding whether you’re a loner or just lonely, how their own isolation is hidden from others:
“Most Fridays I go home and don’t see or speak to anyone until I arrive at work again on Monday morning. I need that time to recover from all the interaction I’m forced to do during the week, and I cherish it.
“Funnily enough, most people I know would never guess that and would probably describe me as outgoing and social. They have no idea how introverted I actually am,” says Onona.
But being alone out of choice and being alone due to circumstance are two different states.
Loneliness rates are on the rise, and research shows that we know fewer people than our counterparts 30 years ago. But why? Precarious work or too much time spent in the office, the loss of community meeting spaces, and the closure of public spaces could all be to blame.
Technology, which allows us to have rich social lives without opening our front door, offers us an easy way to be alone. Despite the vast benefits of digital communication, the loss of physical interaction and networks provides a social environment far removed from how previous generations used to live.
Britain has been named the loneliness capital of Europe. We’re less likely to have strong friendships or know our neighbours than anywhere else in the European Union, and a relatively high proportion of us have no one to rely on in a crisis. Guardian commenter Merlinsays believes that cities are the worst places for fostering loneliness:
“Surrounded by people you don’t talk to. Who you avoid eye contact with. To be in the crowd makes you alert, stimulated by the others so you can’t turn off. But it goes no further,” writes Merlinsays.
Why do you spend time alone? Is it your preferred state or is a lack of available social connections to blame? Share your experiences of being alone using the form below, and we’ll use a selection in our reporting.
