Are you being an overbearing parent – micro-managing every aspect of your child’s life?
From controlling their playtime to scheduling their study hours, being invasive to the extent that you are controlling who your children are friends with. These are all signs of helicopter parenting – a style marked by overtly protective parenting.
While it is a natural instinct to save your children from harm's way, parents can sometimes go overboard. For example, solving genuine issues such as those arising from a rapidly digitizing world is not harmful, as we would want to protect our children from the massive flow of misinformation and crimes committed online. Therefore, putting child locks in place and restricting access to some websites is not wrong, however, one should be mindful of the extent to which they are putting restrictions in place.
How is it harming your children?
Protecting our children from everything and not leaving scope for any mistakes makes them more prone to becoming underconfident and unable to handle the burdens of life. Sooner or later, they will have to face challenges, but if you bail them out of everything, it hinders their developmental process. By confining them to a safe aboard always, you are also keeping them away from making memories for a lifetime. The lessons they might have acquired in the process are also being bludgeoned in the process.
What research says
An American psychological association study highlights the significant impact of parenting styles on a child's development. Specifically, it reveals that excessively controlling parenting during a child's early years, at age 2, can lead to poorer emotional and behavioral regulation by the time they reach age 5. Importantly, children who develop better emotional regulation skills by age 5 tend to experience fewer emotional and social difficulties at age 10 and perform better academically.
Overly controlling parenting at a young age can lead to emotional and behavioral issues later on, while children who develop better emotional regulation skills are more likely to have positive outcomes in terms of emotional well-being, social interactions, and academic performance as they grow older.
How to tell if you are a helicopter parent?
You might have your child’s best interest at heart, but that is not materializing. According to the Cleveland clinic here are a few signs that you are a helicopter parent:
Your child is unable to manage difficult situations on their own.Your child is turning antisocial and uneasy around strangers.Your child hesitates to share information with you or introduce you to their friends.Certain developmentally appropriate challenges are tough for your child on their own.Your child is starting to expect you to complete difficult tasks for them.
Tips to improve your parenting skills
Now that you have a better understanding of helicopter parenting, and know the signs to watch out for, you can work on them and let go of your overprotective tendencies. Here are a few expert tips-
Don’t instill fear of strangers in them so much that they are fearful of every being they encounter.Start by closely monitoring your children's activities and behaviors when they are younger. Gradually reduce the level of constant attention and monitoring as they grow older. In other words, you don't have to stop being attentive all at once but should adapt your level of involvement as your child matures.
Foster an environment of open communication and mutual understanding with your child. Be aware of their social circle and the people they spend time with, but do so in a way that respects their privacy.
Tailor your parenting style to your child's individual needs. For instance, if a child is more outgoing and impulsive, you might need to set stricter limits. On the other hand, if your child is cautious, you might encourage them to take more risks within safe boundaries.
When your children start using technology, it's important to pay attention to their digital habits. Instead of merely scolding them for inappropriate content, use this opportunity to learn together. Teach them about safe and appropriate digital activities.
