The funniest standup I’ve ever seen ...
Joan Rivers. Boy, she was fearless and funny, just perfect.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
I’m torn between GameFace and This Way Up. They are both pitch-perfect and portray exactly how I feel as a woman in all the myriad forms we are: daughter, shagger, saint, nutter, boozer, dieter, carer, trying too hard, not trying hard enough, decisive, indecisive.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …
A blue, nylon, bell-bottomed trouser sailor suit trimmed with gold, glittering thread in the very early 1970s. I thought it was so trendy but it was truly tragic.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had …
I dreamed that the boyfriend du jour, whom I was planning on chucking, was boiling me alive in order to peel my skin off so he could give it to my little brother. I was screaming in pain and he kept telling me to pipe down. I managed to see through the chucking once I woke up.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
Death and funerals, since both are inevitable. Funerals should be like the best parties: masses of booze and food, laughs, tears and the odd fight, if necessary.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …
Q: How many mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Oh, don’t worry about me, I’ll just sit here in the dark.
