It's funny, just when you think you've got used to concrete certainties in life, and then something comes along and blows them all out of the water. Or 'off the ice', depending on how cold it is. Or what you're talking about.
In this case, it's non-Pop Idol of at least six years ago, Gareth Gates. Who has apparently been banned by the producers of Dancing on Ice from getting a fake tan. Or rather, 'any more fake tanned than he is already'.
Quite possibly because it is not plausible to get any more fake tanned than he is already without actually coating yourself in copydex, rolling around on a floor covered in thick strips of orange peel, and painting a face on the outside.
But it does reveal two things:
a) Celebrities have fake tans! I thought they were just that colour naturally. You know how it's always said that it was Marilyn Monroe's almost invisible covering of downy fur that made her look so irresistible to the camera (do they say that? Or did I dream it?) - well, I thought it was so with the orange. I thought that perhaps the cameras were attracted to these people because of their neon orange glow, and thus did they become celebrities. Apparently not. Apparently it's all fake.
b) There is such a thing as 'too tanned' in the world of ice dance.
So that's two things learnt today! Double the proscribed amount. I think I shall have a lie down now.
