Perhaps Heather Mills's verbosity did her no favours, but you do wonder at the capacity of people to stick the boot into Sir Paul McCartney's ex.
The former model's face is all over today's front pages, accompanied by unfavourable if funny headlines after she was awarded £24m in the couple's acrimonious divorce. The Sun excels with "Mucca chucksa cuppa water over Macca's lawyer Shacka". The Mirror plumps for "Wet it be".
The headlines refer to Mills apparently tipping a glass of water over Sir Paul's solicitor, Fiona Shackleton. Juxtaposed before-and-after pictures show Shackleton with fluffy hair going into court, and then wet on her way out, as if she had just showered. Paul Harris in the Mail is in ungallant mood after Mills let rip outside the courtroom.
"She was less than four minutes into the rant when everyone started to pray for another gag order."
That is par for the course for the Mail, which seems to delight in stories that fuel female insecurities. But the unkindest cut of all - let's not mince words, the bitchiest line - comes from Frances Gibb, legal editor at the Times.
"Ms Mills, the former model who tunnelled her way into a massive seam of gold, will receive just one-fifth of the £125m that she had claimed from Sir Paul. In an impassioned speech on the steps of the Royal Courts of Justice, Ms Mills insisted that she was 'very, very happy with the decision'. Well, who wouldn't be?"
The passage has the elegance and deadliness of a stiletto.
Just about the only sympathetic line comes from a divorce solicitor quoted in the Guardian. Marilyn Stowe said she was "incredulous" that McCartney had offered £15.8m, forcing Mills to take the case to court.
"Given Sir Paul's wealth, where did such extraordinary small sums come from? To put Heather Mills through this was shocking and unnecessary."
* This is an extended extract from the Wrap, our digest of the day's papers.
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