For many people - myself included - it is a familiar, yet terrifying feeling.
A thought flashes into your head, sometimes from nowhere, sometimes in response to some news or information - and starts to cause chaos.
It swiftly navigates the different avenues of your mind, attempting to submerge each one with dread, worry and worst case scenarios.
Not content with taking over your thoughts, this feeling of anxiety usually then moves on to a pretty cruel and unpleasant range of physical symptoms that can include everything from dizziness to chest pains and breathlessness.
It's a horrible feeling and there are times where you think it will never end - which just tends to make everything worse.
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Anxiety is a big problem for lots of people and this is usually how mine manifests, but for everyone it is a different and a specific challenge.
I was a really anxious kid. My mind would race with worry whenever my parents went out anywhere - and I had a bizarre and exhausting number of rituals that I told myself I had to do to ensure they returned safely.
These issues have bubbled away with varying levels of ferocity throughout my life but in the past year they have come back with a vengeance - and I know I am far from the only one.
The pandemic created a perfect storm of conditions that allowed anxiety to flourish.
A terrifying, all-encompassing crisis that affected so many people in different ways and that for large portions of time has felt endless and hopeless.
The associated lockdowns left people isolated and shut away from the things they used to do to distract themselves and bring joy and comfort to their lives.
For me personally, I've found things like working alone from home for the past year really tough.
I'm well aware of how lucky I am to have a home and a job that has survived the past year, not to mention a very supportive partner - but the lack of human contact, the absence of colleagues to chat with, to support, guide and entertain me has been something I've really struggled with.
What has compounded matters is that the biggest part of my job for the past year has been reporting on the devastation and misery of this public health crisis and all those so painfully impacted by it - not to mention the fairly regular bouts of social media nastiness that sadly now come with my role.
It's felt like my mind has been in racing mode for over a year now and while I feel pretty drained a lot of the time, I've found it increasingly hard to feel relaxed and comfortable.
I decided to write about how I have been feeling because it is Mental Health Awareness week and I'm still a big believer that talking and opening up can potentially help - it certainly helps me to express it on a page (even if thoughts of people reading it ratchets up the aforementioned anxiety levels).
There will undoubtedly still be those who think that anxiety, depression and similar issues are not really a big deal and that people like me should just pull ourselves together, stop whingeing and get on with life.
The problem with this attitude is that it fails to consider how hard it is for someone to 'get on with life' when they are suddenly battered by these often debilitating feelings - and such an attitude could also dissuade people from opening up about how they are feeling and potentially getting the support they need.
Liverpool-based charity The Brain Charity spelt out just how drastically the past year has impacted on people's mental health.
The charity's counselling team has seen an increase of more than half in terms of the number of people coming to see them at the point of mental health crisis - this is higher than it has ever been previously.
Charity boss Nanette Mellor explained the impact, she said: "Studies have shown that regular social contact and meaningful interaction isn’t just something that is nice to have – it is fundamental to human life.
“The pandemic’s impact on mental health – particularly for those who were already socially isolated – has therefore been catastrophic.
“We believe this isolation is the reason demand for our counselling service, particularly among people struggling with suicidal thoughts, has spiked so dramatically.”
She added: “The COVID-19 pandemic has been the most seismic societal crisis of a generation – something which sent shockwaves through communities all over the world.
“For the vast majority of the UK’s population, 2020 was the first time in their life they have ever felt directly impacted by a global emergency of this scale.
“People’s sense of self, community and safety has been rocked – anxiety, triggered by the body’s fight or flight response, is the brain’s natural reaction to this instability."
So we know there is a real crisis in terms of people suffering with anxiety and other related mental health issues right now, so how can we help?
Well one thing is to share experiences, I hope.
My experience will be different from many people's but I find regular exercise immensely helpful when it comes to tackling problems with anxiety and depression.
If I can summon the will to go for a run (usually the hardest bit), or to go the gym or even just for a walk then I will always feel considerably calmer, better and more positive - and that continues into subsequent days.
One of the few positives of the lockdown for me was gaining a much greater appreciation of nature and the beautiful surroundings that we have on our doorstep in Merseyside - I've learnt that a couple of hours just switching off and immersing myself in a beautiful place can work wonders.
I have also tried to take better breaks from work and have made an effort to limit my use of social media, as I know that had become all consuming at some points.
Speaking about factors that can help, Ms Mellor said: "“Physical exercise does absolute wonders for anxiety, and it doesn’t have to be running a marathon – you just need to get out of breath.
"When you exert yourself, your body floods your brain with feel-good chemicals which take away the anxiety almost instantly.
"Lifestyle factors can have a huge impact on anxiety, so it’s vital to look at these. A really big thing that affects anxiety is caffeine, so someone with anxiety should look to reduce or completely cut this out. A healthy diet is also really important."
If things get really bad then you should consult a GP who may recommend some other kinds of support or medication to help you.
Liverpool's Public Health Director Matt Ashton had some also spoke about the pressures of the past year and urged people suffering with anxiety to seek support sooner rather than later.
He said: "There’s no doubt that the last year and a bit has been tough on us all, no matter how resilient you are as a person.
"Human beings thrive on social interaction with others and the restrictions have had an effect on us all.
"Asking people to stay home when possible was absolutely necessary and the right thing to do in bringing rates down but it has had consequences.
"I think the second lockdown was actually harder because it was during the winter, with dark days and cold weather which affects your mood. On a personal note, I’ve particularly missed seeing my mum, going to Anfield to watch Liverpool play and having a beer with my mates.
“All the evidence shows that demand for mental health services has risen, but that only tells part of the story.
"The big risk is that people who are feeling anxious don’t seek help until it is too late. So my big message is that if you are struggling to cope, then talk to someone such as a friend or a family member about it, or contact a support service.
He added: "The old adage that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ is true, it is really important to communicate and not bottle it all up. And if you’re worried about how a friend or family member is doing, please reach out to them and don’t be afraid to start a conversation with them and offer them a listening ear.
“We’re looking hard with our partners at what additional resources we need to put in to deal with the increased demand, and also we will be doing more to raise awareness of the support that is available. It’s an integral part of our recovery plan to help the city bounce back from the pandemic.”
The Brain Charity is holding a free webinar called Managing Post-Lockdown Anxiety on May 19, with talks from Liverpool's Public Health Director Matt Ashton and Dr Janet Bliss, Deputy Chair of Liverpool CCG amongst others.
To book your place email communications@thebraincharity.org.uk
Urgent help
For adults over age 16: call NHS Mersey Care on Freephone 0800 145 6570 , lines are open 24/7.
For children and young people up to age 18: call Alder Hey CAMHS on 0151 293 3577 or freephone 0808 196 3550, lines are open 24/7.
Papyrus is a national charity set up over twenty years ago to prevent the deaths of young people (under the age of 35) by suicide. They offer support to individuals, parents/carers and professionals on how to keep their young people safe in periods of suicidal crisis. Freephone 0800 068 4141, open 9am-10pm weekdays and 2pm-10pm weekends and Bank Holidays.
Websites
Adults; https://www.liveyourlifewell.info/mind-and-mood-2-2/
Adults: https://www.kindtoyourmind.org/
Online counselling: https://www.qwell.io/
Support for young people: https://www.liverpoolcamhs.com/support/kooth-camhs-support/
