Nearly two years after the world’s consciousness shifted following the murder of George Floyd, many anti-racism educators have lamented over the fact that old habits of white supremacist culture have indeed been hard to break. Despite the sense of urgency that society had when it came to uplifting and amplifying Black voices and centering racial justice, much of the enthusiasm that was seen during the summer of 2020 has waned. Anti-racism educator, author, speaker, and podcast host Monique Melton has discussed this disturbing phenomenon in detail on her social media, where she has explained how dehumanizing it is to gain recognition only after the occurrence of Black death or trauma. Melton’s trajectory has been a bit unorthodox; her Instagram page gained popularity twice in 2020—once after the murder of Ahmaud Arbery and again after the murder of George Floyd. During both tragedies, there was a campaign to amplify Black voices. Melton sat down to discuss her experiences in the last two years, what has and hasn’t changed, and what keeps her grounded while engaging in equity work.
Janice Gassam Asare: So, Monique, it's been an interesting last two years. The last time we spoke, it was right after the public found out about Ahmaud Arbery…and you went viral. How have things been for you in the last two years or so?
Monique Melton: Yeah, thank you for that question. It's been so many things. It's been like I always like to say holding space for the joy and the grief. And so, in the past year and a half, we've been able to experience some tremendous joyous moments as a family. We moved to a new country, we are meeting new people, learning [a] new language, reaching really great goals, personally and the business as well. There's just really amazing growth and just incredible expansion of perspective, knowledge, and understanding. And there's been a lot of grief. The pandemic, it is incredibly exhausting, and dealing with that constant uncertainty and frustration of one wave after another, and really wanting those who are most marginalized to be centered, but instead they are being just ignored or tossed to the side and treated as though they're disposable. So really feeling frustrated with that.
Then also what I call the ‘pseudo white awakening’ happened in the summer of 2020, where you had this huge influx of a lot of white people who…all of a sudden were willing to notice what they've really been willingly ignoring for so long, which is racism, and wanting to take action, but it was from a place of white urgency. It was a lot of white guilt that motivated it. And it was very traumatic. I went from 17,000 Instagram followers to 225,000 Instagram followers in one week. And for some people who are entrepreneurs, they will be like, ‘that's amazing…aren't you so excited?’ However, the work that I was doing prior to that, I had been doing, and it’s very much work of prevention. Like, hey, if we had these things in place, these Black murders and death and pain and suffering, these horrible atrocities wouldn't actually be happening anymore.
Asare: How do you stay motivated to do this work, because it can be really deflating to go through these recurring cycles of what you can call the great white apathy, where there's interest in this work, but only after something tragic or traumatic happens to a Black person, then the interest goes away, then something else happens. How do you stay invigorated while you're doing this work?
Melton: Thank you for that. What really keeps me motivated is the commitment to Black liberation, like reclaiming my humanity and continuing on that legacy of liberation that my ancestors living and those who are right here with me have started and continued and are carrying on. I am so deeply concerned and interested and committed to what would it look like for Black folks to truly be liberated, to fully and freely exist in our humanity in any and every space that we occupy? Like what could that truly look like? And so, really connecting to my imagination and imagining a world where that is a reality, and it's not a dream, but it's instead our everyday experience. And so, knowing that that world we deserve, like knowing that we deserve liberation and we deserve to live in a world where people can thrive and not at the expense of anyone else—that motivates me.
I think about my ancestors who were in such devastating experiences…like born into it; their mama was enslaved, their grand momma was enslaved…everything that they saw was dark and grim, and yet they still carried and embodied the hope of liberation. And despite the reality being quite the contrary, how dare I lose hope? How dare I settle for anything less? Because they certainly didn't. They didn't lose hope, they didn't settle for anything less. And so, I'm going to do the same. I'm going to do the same in the way that that works and looks like for me and my family and my life…I'm going to use everything I got to keep pursuing it.
Asare: How do you navigate social media? Because I know you've spoken on this, and many people in the space have spoken on the fact that when they are trying to get their message across, their content is censored or removed. How do you navigate that particular challenge? And is it just a matter of being mindful of the words that you use or certain hashtags? Because I know that some folks just say they don't use certain hashtags, they use code words. So how do you navigate that on social media?
Melton: Yeah. That's a really great question. See, this is the thing…Black folks, we are constantly having to be innovative about things that I wish we didn't have to be innovative about. And what could we actually be spending that brain space on that is actually more fulfilling than trying to navigate racism? We're always doing that, like when you think about the Green Book and the time and energy that was put in place to create something like that, just so folks could navigate traveling in these sundown towns and such…I'm grateful, but I'm also saddened that that's something that we still have to keep doing in so many ways. And so, yeah, I see so many of my peers and friends and such doing that…putting different things up to try to navigate the algorithm. And I think that's really frustrating that that type of energy has to be spent.
But the social media space is draining sometimes…I try to look at it a little more holistically so to weigh out some of that exhaustion that can come in with all the mental gymnastics that you have to do when you're trying to create content and share about oppression as a Black person on a platform that attempts to censor and silence you and do nothing for you sometimes when folks are coming for you. So, it's a lot of just trying to navigate it in a way that feels good for you.
Asare: I think boundary setting is so important, especially when you do this work…but switching gears a little bit, I think it's important to also talk about what you do for joy. What are your joy practices? And what brings you joy in your life while you're doing work that can be very taxing on you, your spirit, your family? What do you do to bring joy into your life?
Melton: Oh, my goodness, I was just thinking about this earlier today. I do quite a few things—joyful movement is one. I love some type of movement that's going to get my heart rate up and it's just going to feel good, whether it's dancing, walking, lifting weights, elliptical, yoga, whatever feels really good. So that's a big one to me. Staying hydrated, taking Fridays off. And so, Chris and I will spend the day doing things that we enjoy. Maybe that's taking a long lunch, maybe walking around, maybe that's going to a couple different boutiques and enjoying each other's company—that’s really important to us. We also believe in chilling. I'm a strong, like, let me get on my couch, get my blanket, and just chill for a little bit. Foods too, like getting foods that are nourishing and foods that also just feel really exciting and fun to eat.
There’re so many things that I really try to make sure to prioritize to spark joy for myself and really maintain that joy practice. And also, therapy. Therapy is a crucial component in my self-care and taking care of my total wellbeing. And then also sex. I'm married to my high school sweetheart and we still enjoy our time in the bedroom. Keeping my office in my house neat too, that way it just doesn't feel disorderly and cause chaos. So many things. Playing music, especially in the shower…dancing naked in the mirror, it's so liberating. It's so many things. I could just keep going. I try to have a good time.
This interview has been lightly edited for brevity and clarity.
