So when Dave went where did you put Obama's barbecue I was like, duh, you mean the one we left outside for freecycling, the Goveys drove off with it within ten seconds, he's like seriously babes, unless you want loons in the house we need to borrow it back ASAP, I'm like WTAF, he's like trust me, I will cook, literally all you have to do is source the entertainer & partybags, also balloons, maybe some themed Gr8 BritOn tableware, plus ale, backbenchers are srsly mad for ale apparently, and pink lemonade & a guess the weight of the cake for the ladies, do not worry I have put Laura Trott I/C baking, but we defo need bunting & a pinata suitable for 8-year-olds? I'm like well do not ask me ask Pippa Middleton, but Dave said he actually DID at the Spectator party & she is like SO grand now she will only do silver service, although he happens to know she is doing this uni-themed pool party for Boris Johnson *barely stops self being sick in mouth*.
Well basically I said to Mummy that is 30 minutes of my life I will never get back, I mean everyone knows backbenchers are *special*, so maybe they just got lost, but only around 11 turned up & nobody looked at the Punch and Judy & talk about hard work, OMG SO awk, eg when Dave shouted "Len McCluskey!", as in totes hilair if you are normal, they just stared & I was like *desperate voice* so, Wharton, Tuscany or Provence this year, & he was like, but they are in Europe, I'm like *eek face* God I know, thank goodness Ibiza never joined, now can anyone here play boules & then they started getting their coats & it was still only 6.30 #massivebarbecuefail. So all I can take away is at least I did not wear new & Nancy has posted the sweetest sad cat of Larry next to "My cat is sad because Dad invited this shitload of loons round and they all went to Govey's pot-luck hog roast instead" #NFI #cunningmuch?
So we have never been so happy to see dear old Cornbury friends #backtotherealworld eg when Dave went LEN McCLUSKEY! I honestly thought Jeremy Clarkson would die of lolz :)))
