DON’T BLAME THE PLAYER, BLAME THE BANTZ
Following hot on the heels of yesterday’s story about the vicissitudes of a controversial Italian gradually being drummed out of English football by self-righteous folk who you suspect wish he’d never come in the first place, today’s Fiver was hoping for something more frivolous and ripe-for-giggles to get its teeth into. A chucklesome story about ‘Arry Redknapp pretending to be bamboozled by the remote control for his television, perhaps. Or quotes from a press conference in which José Mourinho compared his struggle to that of Mahatma Gandhi. Sadly, it wasn’t to be, so at the risk of becoming typecast, we bring you another story about – sigh – the vicissitudes of a controversial Italian being drummed out of English football by self-righteous folk who you suspect wish he’d never come in the first place.
Just to be clear: in common with yesterday’s controversial Italian, many of today’s controversial Italian’s problems are of his own making. And in an attempt to post a humorous anti-racism message on his Instagram account, the black, often racially abused footballer with the Jewish foster mother that is Mario Balotelli somehow managed to inadvertently be perceived as racist, while quite evidently trying to be the exact opposite in a gentle, amusing and endearing way. Luckily, the Internet Thought Police treated his error with the benign understanding it deserved, gently admonishing the Liverpool striker, whose second language is English, for the heinous offence of seeming to genuinely mistake some numbskulled laddish “banter” he’d chanced upon as a humorous anti-racism message fronted by a cartoon character with the same nickname as him and quickly forgot all ab ... oh.
“I apologise if I’ve offended anyone,” wrote a Mario you suspect may have been as rattled as the gates of Balotelli Towers upon the arrival of the torch and pitchfork-waving cyber-mob. “The post was meant to be anti-racist with humour. I now understand that out of context [it] may have the opposite effect. Not all Mexicans have moustache, not all black people jump high and not all Jewish people love money. I used a cartoon done by someone else because it had Super Mario and I thought it was funny and not offensive. Again, I’m sorry.”
So there you have it, a man who has regularly been the visibly upset victim of outright racism did something accidentally racist and quickly apologised for his gaffe. And while your decidedly white Fiver could be forgiven for perhaps naively presuming that might signal an end to the matter, in the wake of complaints by Kick It Out and the Jewish Representative Council of Greater Manchester, Mario has been called upon by the Football Association to explain the latest in a long list of well-documented acts of tomfoolery. Acts of tomfoolery, it should be noted, that on closer inspection invariably don’t really amount to anything much at all. On this one occasion, regarding an emotive issue the player clearly feels quite strongly about, a warning not to be such a numpty might suffice. He’s just the bungling messenger; those who wrote his message deserve the outrage and ire.
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BITS AND BOBS
Pelé is in “good condition” and “walking around” his room after last week’s relapse following treatment on kidney stones, according to a statement from São Paolo’s Albert Einstein Hospital.
Fifa’s Michel d’Hooghe says he is being treated “like a murderer” after being put under investigation as part of the fall-out from the World Cup anti-corruption report.
Manchester City will be without Vincent Kompany in tomorrow’s 2-1 victory against Sunderland after he picked up a spot of hamstring-twang.
Barcelona could switch stripes for hoops to make a bit of extra dosh, so says the Catalan newspaper Sport.
And Kolo Touré is going to quit playing for the Ivory Coast after the Africa Cup of Nations. “I plan to make this my final international assignment,” he yelled, before parachuting into Equatorial Guinea from a Learjet a month and a-half early.
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
“Everything has an end, apart from a sausage.” Erm, it’s Raphael Honigstein on Jürgen Klopp and downtrodden Dortmund.
STILL WANT MORE?
The Guardian’s bunch of incredibly talented, award-winning football writers stopped talking to Robbie Savage long enough to jot down some things you should be looking out for in the midweek Premier League games.
Feel like everyone in Ireland in late 2009 and overdose on Thierry Henry via this extract from the Blizzard and this piece by Graham Parker.
‘Arry Redknapp is confident his QPR side won’t be playing in the Championship next season. No really. Yeah, we laughed too.
That tactics truck, Mr Motivator and some other van-related gags feature in this week’s Andy Townsend-themed edition of the Gallery. Now send us your Harry Kanes. Please!
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