Say what you like about torture porn, but its sudden rise to prominence in the 00s did at least offer a counterpoint to the supernatural haunt-em-ups that had long been horror’s stock-in-trade. Respite was short-lived, however: after 2007’s Paranormal Activity became the most profitable independent movie of all time, domesticated ghost stories reclaimed their place at the very heart of Hollywood’s horror industry.
Financially at least, it’s easy to see why. Sinister made $77m on a budget of $3m. Insidious took even more on even less. At $20m, The Conjuring was relatively expensive (to put it in perspective, that’s only a quarter of what Grown Ups 2 cost) and still yielded a sixteenfold return on investment.
The movies themselves are even more predictable than their box office results, as demonstrated by Annabelle, a spin-off from The Conjuring that sheds light on the origins of that film’s porcelain doll antagonist. Like an increasing number of contemporary horror films, Annabelle is set at the midpoint of the 20th century, an inherently creepy era before home cinema systems, iPads and Xboxes rendered suburban US homes too noisy to effectively haunt.
As ever, a naive young couple are tormented by a possessed symbol of childhood innocence; in this case, a doll so blatantly evil-looking that it could never in a million years be mistaken for anything other than a Mephistophelian vessel. Scores of timeworn tropes are wheeled out over its 99 minutes, from absurdly hyperactive rocking chairs to an inevitable third-act priest with a PhD in ghoul removal.
On DVD, the availability of closed captions allows the film to spell out its own banality. As the actors feign trepidation, the subtitles wearily list off cliches, including but not limited to: “[DOOR CREAKING THEN THUDDING]”. “[LULLABY MUSIC PLAYING OVER BABY MONITOR]” and “[INDISTINCT CHANTING OVER PHONOGRAPH]”.
Warner Home Video
Also out this week
Fury Macho tank caper with brooding male ensemble.
Effie Gray Long-delayed Victorian love triangle romp.
Serena Inglorious third pairing of Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper.
