Well, you know Britney Spears must be a really wounded animal if even PETA president Ingrid Newkirk refuses to kick her. Only a few months ago, readers may recall, the serially distasteful PETA stewardess wrote an open letter to Kevin Federline urging him to seek custody of Britney's dogs.
"For the sake of your children," wrote the enchantingly presumptuous Ms Newkirk, "and the animals who are at risk while in Ms. Spears' custody, we hope that you will do the right and best thing for all involved and pursue a custody order for the animals so that your sons can continue to have the company of the animals they've grown to adore."
Mm. On previous occasions, Ingrid has compared meat-eating to the Holocaust, and decided to become involved in the Middle East only after a donkey was killed in the region (she wrote to Yasser Arafat requesting that he keep animals out of the conflict).
So just IMAGINE the self-restraint she's had to exercise not to unload all over Britney in her pressure group's annual "Worst Dressed List". (Wait... a "rights organisation" has a Worst Dressed List? Lost in Showbiz has totally found a way to take it even less seriously than it already did!)
According to a PETA spokesbunny - who has put out an attention-grabbing press release to draw attention to this droplet of compassion for a fellow human - they have removed Britney from the running because "she can't be held responsible for her actions" at the present time.
Isn't that generous? Of course, if Britney were an animal, Peta would have all manner of celebrities stripping for her better treatment, but this surely-only-momentary reprieve reminds us that to be born humanoid really is to come last in the lottery of life.
