The funniest standup I’ve ever seen
Stewart Lee – in his early days, before he went electric and started using a mic, the sellout.
The funniest book I’ve ever read
Richard Ayoade’s last book, Ayoade on Ayoade, which I reckon might be the funniest book of this century.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen
Either Borat or The Philadelphia Story, which scratch the same itch in different ways. Only one has Jimmy Stewart, but then only one has a naked-wrestling-testicles-in-moustache scene.
The funniest person I know
A three-way tie between a few friends. Thankfully, after a very effective scare campaign I conducted over a number of years, not one of them works in comedy. They are Oxford professors instead.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had
It happened after the final whistle, but leaving a show in Worthing one night, an elderly lady slowly approached me and said: “That’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.” Not the worst show, mind. The worst thing.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned
I have an extremely amusing floral shirt. It’s hard to describe but, honestly, it brings the house down.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had
For one day of my life, aged 20, I had a porny 1970s biker moustache. There is only one photo. I have had the photographer killed and the negative is in a locked strongbox somewhere under Geneva.
The funniest number
Seventeen. It’s got it all. It’s a prime. It’s clunky, clumsy, a total goofball of a number. Seventeen would be picked last for any school sports team, as I was.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard
Anna Ptaszynski, my No Such Thing As a Fish colleague, has dined out for years on: “Why shouldn’t you buy trousers in the Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout.”
Austentatious is on in Shrewsbury, 28 October; Buxton, 29 October; Swindon, 3 November; touring to 23 December. No Such Thing As A Fish – The Live Tour, touring the UK to March 2017.
