WE GO AGAIN
While the entirety of last season proved that football is nothing without fans, the opening weekend of this new one provided a timely reminder that despite their prolonged and enforced absence it would often be considerably better if some of them stayed at home. But despite the best attempts of assorted imbeciles in Manchester, Norfolk and Tottenham, among other nationwide locales, the sight of “House Full” signs up in Premier League grounds was enough to melt the flintiest of hearts.
Brentford got the opening Premier League weekend off to a flyer, the famous bus-stop in Hounslow marking their first top-flight appearance in 74 years with a win over Arsenal that, while technically an upset, was no real surprise at all. Bees fans were left buzzing, none more so than Brentford super-fan Woody, whose post-match embrace with manager Thomas Frank adorned several of the morning papers being read by Saturday morning coffee-drinkers as they raised their heads quizzically upon hearing grown men thump each other with bins and restaurant furniture on the street outside.
While Nasty Leeds fans set about the task of shedding their club’s reputation as neutrals’ favourites outside Old Trafford, their team did their bit inside the ground. Taken on at their own energetic, high-pressing game and soundly beaten at it by Manchester United, with Luke Ayling’s second-half screamer they could at least go home with the consolation of knowing they’d scored the game’s fourth-best goal. Meanwhile at Stamford Bridge, Trevoh Chalobah announced his Chelsea arrival at the top table in Chelsea’s humbling of Crystal Palace with a strike that made folk previously unfamiliar with his work sit up and notice that not only is he not his brother Nathan, but also that his name isn’t actually “Trevor”.
At Goodison Park, Rafael Benítez got an unexpectedly warm welcome from fans of his new “small club” before their win over a Southampton team that’s shedding big-name stars in some sort of Saints supernova. Further south, everyone’s relegation-certainties Watford showed their title-winning credentials with a 3-2 demolition of Aston Villa that was nowhere near as close as the scoreline suggests. Their fellow promoted side Norwich had no answers for Liverpool, who cruised to victory under the new laser-improved gaze of Jürgen Klopp. Leicester just about triumphed over Wolves thanks to Jamie Vardy, while Sean Dyche’s Burnley XI couldn’t quite Burnley their way to a point against free-scoring Brighton xG.
And so to Sunday, where normality was resumed at St James’ Park, as Newcastle’s players trudged off to the heartwarmingly unfamiliar sound of boos, albeit safe in the knowledge that they will almost certainly play worse this season. Meanwhile in London, Tottenham Hotspur weathered an early storm to pull off a somewhat surprising win over toothless champions Manchester City. Having ground out their win with a disciplined and determined team performance, their players could be forgiven for rolling their eyes at the raft of post-match headlines devoted to a certain teammate whose contribution was zero.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“He’s one of the greatest legends in the history of FC Bayern. His achievements are unrivalled to this day and will forever be a part of the great history of FC Bayern and all of German football. As a player and a person Gerd Müller stands for FC Bayern and its development into one of the biggest clubs in the world. Gerd will forever be in our hearts” – Oliver Kahn pays tribute to Gerd Müller, one of the game’s all-time greats, who died on Sunday aged 75. Read Scott Murray’s brilliant tribute to the man they called Der Bomber and there’s also a lovely gallery, too.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
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FIVER LETTERS
“Nice to see Jim Rosenthal getting a rare runout in Friday’s Fiver (Still Want Mores). Gives me an excuse to link to this monumental piece of journalism, in which our hero is transported into a dream-like netherworld. This journey ends with him naked and being covered in lather by the country’s top scorer, his captain, and two mulleted magicians. What a man” – Nick Kinsella.
“Were the Premier League fixture compilers indulging in a bit of devilment with the opening-day fixtures? Starting a match top of the Premier League and ending it bottom – it could only happen to Arsenal” – John Lawton.
“Given their propensity to plumb new depths each passing day, the Gunners could file for a change of emblem from the current one to the Mariana Trench” – Krishna Moorthy.
“When Chelsea score at home the big screens flash up GOAL!! GOAL!! followed by the name and photo of the scorer. When Trevoh Chalobah scored on Saturday the screens duly flashed up GOAL!! GOAL!! but of name or photo there were none. So I propose a new term to describe a young player making an unexpected splash: ‘Too unknown to have his name in the big screen display computer’” – Nick Moon.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Prizes are back, baby! Today’s winner is Nick Kinsella, who gets a copy of The Hard Yards: A Season in the Championship, Football’s Toughest League by Nige Tassell. It’s available in hardback from 19 August and we have more to give away.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Renowned rom-com enthusiast Virgil van Dijk says his return to action for Liverpool against Norwich felt “very emotional”. “It was sort of like a hurdle,” he Richard Curtis-ed. “I had to get over that.”
Barcelona chief suit, Joan Laporta, has blamed Josep Bartomeu for a “terrible inheritance” which has led to debts of €1.35bn (subs, please check). “We could not pay the salaries,” Laporta blubbed. “The previous regime was full of lies.”
Granit Xhaka has scrawled his name all over a new contract at Arsenal until 2024.
Like an impatient parent trying to get his teenager out of bed, Spurs manager Nuno Espírito Santo wants Harry Kane to hurry up. “He has to get ready and help the team,” he pleaded.
And José Mourinho has found £34m down the back of a fine leather sofa at Roma and is ready to swap it for Tammy Abraham.
STILL WANT MORE?
We know you’ve missed them: 10 glorious talking points coming right at ya.
Andy Brassell’s Bundesliga blog addresses how Robert Lewandowski and Erling Haaland will try to emulate the great Gerd Müller this season.
An extract from Ryan Baldi’s new book explores the rise of Trent Alexander-Arnold, featuring sulks, a position change and fetching the balls he would kick in anger.
Alan Ruschel lost 19 of his Chapecoense teammates in a plane crash five years ago. He recovered from his injuries, became the club’s captain and led them to two trophies. Josué Seixas speaks with the 31-year-old.
Ligue Urrrrrrrn is already two weeks in: Eric Devin is here to update you on champions Lille getting absolutely walloped by Nice.
Fans of Rumours can get their fix here, fans of transfer tittle-tattle might want to click on this link instead.
Catch up with the latest moves in our women’s and men’s transfer interactives.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
