New Zealand's demi-official poet laureate Victor Billot composes an ode for The Son of Key
The Temptation of Max
Max, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from Hawaii
and was led by the spirit into social media wilderness:
for forty days he was tempted by the Devil.
He posted nothing at all during those long days.
When they were over, his brand was tanking.
The Parnhellites and Remmerstines had forgotten him.
The Devil showed Max all the kingdoms
of the world, and the devil said to him, “lo,
come back to your party boy ways.”
“Return to your drop kick persona,
for the party girls await. And DJ sets.
As doth the helicopter rides.” Max turned away.
“Begone,” saith Max. “I am now living my best life.”
The Devil scratched his fiery moustache.
Then he took Max down to the Viaduct.
The Devil said, “If you truly are the Son of Key,
command this barge to become a mega yacht.”
Max answered him, “Yea, it is written,
one does not live by yachts alone.”
The Devil gave up and walked off to the pub,
leaving Max standing on the deck.
Then the Devil heard a voice behind him.
“Afore ye go Satan”, said the voice,
“could you take a quick snap for my Insta?”
Victor Billot has previously been moved to write odes for such New Zealand luminaries as Trevor Mallard, Mike Hosking, and Garrick Tremain.
