Bard Billot on the conspiracy bozos
Traitor's Gate
Lo, there was a sour and mean mood on the narrow streets of Queens Landing. Yahweh Brian had manifested in the Town Square and promised to pull a rabbit from a hat. Yea, verily, no rabbit came from the hat. Saint Chantelle had her visions cancelled by the Great Sky God, Zuck. The rebels were in disarray and most jaded. But then did ride in from the bad lands Dark Count Kelvyn, and Contessa Hannah loyally carrying his anti-feminist sandwiches. "Hear ye!" Proclaimeth the Dark Count at the Gates of Queens Landing. "I am here to assume my rightful title as Galactic Emperor for Life through bloody insurrection! When I prevail, I will ensure the lopping and grinding of each and every Minister of State, scribe, foreigner, apostate, non-binary pink and green unicorn, scholar, quack, sapphist, street musician, turmeric latte drinker, and writer of Odes. I will tear down the infirmaries and smash the Ungodly Tinctures and Potions. I will burn the children's playgrounds and lay waste to the well-clipped lawns. There will be no mercy. There will be show trials, floggings, explosions, mass carnage of unprecedented grimness, and then after that." At that moment, four burly Sheriff's Men come out of the gate, seize the Count by the scruff of the neck and silently drag him away to the Tower. "Unhand me," he cries with wounded dignity. "You are breaching my freedom and rights!" But his querulous voice vanishes as the Great Door of the Tower slams shut with an epic finality. Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes for such luminaries as Guarev Sharma, Sam Uffindell, Bishop Brian, the Prime Minister, Mike Hosking, and Garrick Tremain.
