The Instagram account known as the “University of Melbourne Gooning Club” — yes, a page dedicated to the fine art of “gooning” (that’s marathon masturbation, for those playing at home) — has been unceremoniously booted from the app after the University of Melbourne claimed copyright infringement.
According to The Guardian Australia, the page, which went by @unimelbgooning, was slinging memes and satirical content about, well, self-love sessions on campus.
The account wasn’t shy about it either, posting about the “best room to goon in on all of campus” (which for the record, racked up over 12,000 likes before it was booted off the ‘Gram), and even petitioning for an official “gooning room”. Ambitious.
It seems the account’s downfall was its birthplace. The group had edited the official Melb Uni logo to read “The University of Melbourne Gooners”. Cheeky, but also a massive red flag for any university comms team.
The way I’d love to see that email thread.
A Melbourne Uni spokesperson told The Guardian that the uni only found out about the account recently during a routine scroll, and it “raised significant concerns”. Translation: we don’t want our logo next to a meme about wanking.
The uni “immediately took action” and reported the page to Instagram’s owner Meta for trademark infringement. The result? The account was suspended within hours.
In a statement, the uni said: “The safety and wellbeing of our university community is our highest priority, and we are committed to eliminating and preventing sexual harm in our community.” They also encouraged anyone affected to contact their safer community program. No word on whether that includes people traumatised by the memes.
For the record, there’s no evidence the account was run by Melbourne Uni staff or students. The University of Melbourne Student Union also confirmed it had nothing to do with the page.
The person behind the account, who posted their Meta suspension notice to Reddit, said the page was nuked for “misuse of the University of Melbourne’s name and logo”. They also thanked their loyal followers and teased a comeback, saying they’re working on a new version of the club “open to students from all universities across Melbourne”.
So, there you have it, the Gooners may indeed rise again, I guess. Okay, I need to go touch grass after writing this story.
Lead image: University of Melbourne / iStock
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