After relocating from Portland, Oregon, to a medium-cost-of-living city, one engineer and his wife thought they’d made a smart move. The area had better job opportunities, more affordable housing, and offered a quality of life that big coastal cities couldn’t match.
They Just Wanted A Better Life
But what surprised them most wasn’t culture shock or regrets, it was the social judgment. “It seems like everyone online and [in real life] acts like we are losers for not living in a [high-cost-of-living city] anymore,” the engineer wrote in a recent Reddit post on r/MiddleClassFinance. “It's almost like straight up disdain.”
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The couple, who previously lived in Portland and Seattle, didn't expect that their move would prompt side-eyes and snide remarks. They're in the top 10% of income earners in their new city, own an affordable house, and are saving money. Still, they say people act like they gave something up. “We never ever say anything bad about HCOL cities and love to visit them to see family,” he added.
“It's almost like they are saying that we are lesser people for not living in an expensive city, as weird as this sounds.”
Others in the thread quickly backed him up.
Zip Code Snobbery Is Real
“Zip code snobbery is as old as time,” one commenter wrote. “It's all about ego and needing to feel better than others.”
Another put it bluntly: “A lot of people who are insecure in their own life choices put others down to make themselves feel better.”
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Redditors shared stories of being looked down on for choosing affordability over big-city glamour. Some had lived in New York City or the San Francisco Bay Area, only to downsize their lives and find more happiness elsewhere. Others pointed out how some people in expensive cities equate the cost of living with self-worth.
“They have to make it ‘worth the struggle’ by telling themselves and you that anywhere that's not there sucks,” one person said.
A doctor noted that they were even told by a patient, “I'll see you this time because I am sick, but there must be something wrong with you if you left Duke to work here,” after they relocated from North Carolina to a rural area in South Carolina.
Culture Clash And Classism
Many pointed to deeper issues, such as classism and regional bias. “It reeks of classism and racism. Mostly, people who think they are woke talk about how awful lower-cost areas are. It's extremely fake,” the original poster wrote in a reply.
Others echoed the sentiment. “There is an inherent assumption that Midwesterners are stupid and less able,” one Redditor said. “Because hey, that's why it's called flyover country, right?”
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Quiet Wins Over Loud Opinions
Despite the criticism, many commenters expressed they wouldn’t trade their new lives for anything. As one commenter put it: “You care way too much about people’s opinions. Are you happy? Employed? Stacking money? That’s all that matters!”
Another person, who similarly left Seattle for a small town, said the lifestyle change was worth a minor pay cut. “I went from a 400 sq ft condo in need of repair to a new build 1,400 sq ft house overlooking farm hills on one side and mountains in the back. Less stress, low key. Higher quality of life for a minor cut in pay. Leaving Seattle was the best decision ever.”
“I find it very bizarre,” the original poster summed it up. “I have no idea why people take it personally where other people live. It pretty much doesn't impact their life at all.”
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