Ryan Seacrest (r) is handed the envelope revealing the American Idol winner to contestants Jordin Sparks (second from left) and Blake Lewis (second from right). Photograph: Getty Images
Five months of tears, heartache and power ballads culminated last night with Jordin Sparks being crowned undisputed American Idol 2007. While the final proved something of an anti-climax it's been an eventful sixth season for the all-conquering franchise. So here are my top 10 moments from American Idol 2007.
10. Tulip hits the headlines There's something about a fat chihuahua breaking Paula Abdul's nose that is inherently funnier than other celebrity related pet mishaps. Brian Blessed being blindsided by a lemur? Just not as funny.
9. Jonathan Jayne and Kenneth Briggs Jonathan and Kenneth's "special affinity" seemed more like special needs and the use of these two for entertainment raised serious ethical questions. Not with me - I laughed my monkey ass off at the chumps.
8. Antonella's sexy internet photos Racy pictures of Idol hopeful Antonella Barba surfaced on the internet just days before the final 12 were announced. Antonella didn't make the cut but her tanlined asscrack made a crease in many a web geek's desktop wallpaper.
7. Jordin shows her class After five weeks of solid performances in the finals, 17 year-old Jordin Sparks put in her defining performance with her take on Martina McBride's A Broken Wing. Right here was when people started to think of her as a potential winner.
6. Simon Cowell rolls with the punches An unguarded flash of limey cynicism in the face of opportunistic schmaltz put Simon Cowell in the firing line from professional grievers.
5. Sanjaya finally exits Critical beatdowns from judges couldn't stop the progress of the crowd-pleasing no-hoper Sanjaya. Good sense finally prevailed and Sanjaya waved goodbye to Idol in 7th place, living proof that sympathy and a smile take you further in life than ability.
4. Brenna Kynar Even Brian May couldn't defend this horrorshow version of Under Pressure.
3. The Darwin Award When Darwin Reedy sang about being a freak at her audition, she wasn't kidding. But don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like her? Dontcha??
2. 'J' ends anti-Sanjaya hunger strike World's fattest hunger striker 'J' abandoned her Starvation For Sanjaya fast 16 days in after hearing from medical experts that starvation could be "very bad for you". Where Margaret Thatcher faced down Republican hunger strikers in an unbearably tense stand-off, America yawned and dug into another box of Doritos.
1. Blake blitzes Bon Jovi Fist-faced cheeseball Blake Lewis knew he was living on a prayer, beat-boxing his way through You Give Love a Bad Name as a horrified Jon Bon Jovi looked on but the gambit thrillingly paid off as the Washington native knocked it out of the park with a virtuoso display of vocal scratching.
I must have missed a few so hit me with your best reminiscences from this year's American Idol. Just don't make it too cabaret. OK?
