Hi, Barbie! It seems like everyone flocked to movie theaters last weekend to make Greta Gerwig’s Barbie the biggest release of the summer (and biggest ever by a female director). The sharp and witty film has received high praise for its message, its humor and incredible performances from leads Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling.
But it’s America Ferrera’s character, Gloria, who’s getting significant internet buzz after delivering an impassioned speech during the second half of the movie to get Stereotypical Barbie (Robbie) back on her newly-flat feet.
MORE: Everyone is absolutely loving Barbie star Ryan Gosling’s big musical number I’m Just Ken
Thankfully, some folks on Twitter (or should we say, X?) have tracked down the entire monologue, so here it is to help you get through your Monday.
WARNING: Spoilers follow for Barbie. If you haven’t seen it yet, bookmark this post, go see it, get inspired and then come back to re-live the monologue in all its glory.
It’s literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but you also have to be thin. You have to have money, but you cant ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.
You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.
It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.
Be right back, need to go run through a brick wall and then maybe watch 1995’s BBC version of Pride and Prejudice.
