Statistics show that the remarriage rate in the US has been growing steadily over the past couple of decades, and it’s no wonder – even having failed in their attempt to create a family, people try to find their happiness with another person. But the ghost of a previous relationship sometimes gets in the way of this happiness.
We’ve told many stories about how people, as it turns out, were jealous of their spouses and partners even having the memory of their deceased significant others, and that it didn’t lead to anything good. Well, in the life of the author of our today’s story, his stepfather has been trying for many years not only to replace his late dad, but even to erase all memory of him…
More info: Reddit
The author is a 17-year-old boy, who has been mostly raised by his mom and stepfather
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many years ago, the author’s bio dad divorced his mom and then passed away – and the mom remarried
Image credits: PoppleSwammy
Image generated by Bored Panda using chatGPT
The stepdad made one attempt after another to replace the late man in his stepson’s heart – but to no avail
Image credits: PoppleSwammy
Image credits: oliverragfelt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
During one of their recent family therapy sessions, the man lost it and called the author’s late dad “a ghost, a memory”
Image credits: PoppleSwammy
To this, the teen wished the stepdad would have another man say such words to his own child someday – and huge drama ensued
The Original poster (OP), a 17-year-old boy, begins his story by telling us that this happened during family therapy, with the ninth therapist in the last five years. Perhaps this is quite enough to start drawing some conclusions, but let’s just go on. The thing is that the author’s biological father divorced his mom when the son was not yet 8 years old, and then passed away – so he was essentially raised by his stepdad.
The man was a good parental figure – if not for one circumstance. He sincerely believed that everything he did for the boy gave him grounds to demand to call himself his father. A real father. And the memory of a man who had been in the next world for almost a decade for some reason irritated him.
The situation only worsened when the author entered his teen years – and his stepdad made attempt after attempt to replace his late father in his soul. One therapist followed another – and recently, during another session, the man burst into a pathetic speech, the main point of which was that it was time for the OP to erase “that guy” from his heart, because he was “just a ghost, a memory…”
Our hero was offended – and immediately gave a response speech, in which he wished upon his stepfather that someday another man would say the same words to his child (yes, his mother is now pregnant). Huge drama ensued, and even the mom took her husband’s side, saying that the OP had actually subtly wished him death. The author flatly refused to apologize, and decided to take this online to seek support.
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“In fact, it’s only commendable that the stepfather does everything to mend fences with the stepchild, takes care of him and whatnot – but in this situation, it seems that the stepfather was driven not only by the desire to become a decent dad, but also by a feeling of jealousy and envy of the deceased ex of his wife,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case.
“In fact, the best thing the stepfather could do here is to give in with his fruitless attempts, and switch to his pregnant wife and his future baby. Simply by accepting that he will never become in the soul of his stepson on the same level as his real dad. Well, and five years of therapy – this actually means that attempts to change the kid’s memory started much earlier.”
“Yes, it was a completely offensive and rude response, but calling your own father – even a deceased one – a ‘ghost’ – you must admit, is no less offensive and rude. Especially after all the attempts to become this father yourself. So an adult should have been prepared for the consequences after such an emotional outburst – and not be indignant when the consequences happened,” Irina sums up.
Commenters also agreed that from an adult, such a reaction may seem strange, and that the man should’ve come to terms with it long ago and not tried to replace the stepson’s dad in his heart, given the complete futility of such attempts. Some responders also advised the author “to burn this relationship to the ground” – especially considering that he is coming of age soon. So what would you, our readers, advise here?
Most commenters sided with the author and even urged him to go no contact with the stepdad after this
