It’s a well-known fact that good guys don’t bother with the knockout stages of major tournaments. ‘Ooh look at us, we need a last-16 tie to validate ourselves’. Pathetic.
The most popular team may have been eliminated from Euro 2020 on Tuesday night, but the second most popular remain. I’m referring to Clive Tyldesley and Ally McCoist, naturally.
ITV host Mark Pougatch described McCoist as “such an entertaining part of our coverage during the Euros”, which as far as understatements go is up there with referring to Jimi Hendrix as ‘one of the most talented guitarists in The Jimi Hendrix Experience’.
It was a painful afternoon for Slovakia keeper Martin Dubravka, whose majestic own goal prompted Tyldesley to proclaim: “This tournament has been own goal city. If there’s such a thing as the best own goal so far, we’ve just seen it”.
McCoist joined him in pretending it wasn’t the competition’s single greatest moment, saying: “Can’t believe that. Got to say, I can’t believe it. I don’t know where you go there, to be honest with you. As goalkeeping errors go, Clive, that is a HOWLER”.
Was he caught in no man’s land? “Absolute no man’s land”, clarified McCoist.
Much of the BBC’s Portugal v France build-up consisted of Ronaldo fanboying. “He uses negativity as fuel” said Rio Ferdinand, abruptly changing the subject to Danny Murphy.
Going back to Ronaldo, Ferdinand added: “Gaz, you’ve said some things like your preference would be Messi out of the two. He will send me a text going ‘I can’t believe he’s said that’”. People try and make comparisons between Ronaldo and Messi’s texts, Gaz. Just enjoy ‘em man.
Some cynics have dared to suggest that coverage of Scotland and Wales from certain English pundits has been lacking in depth and insight.
That’s certainly not an accusation that could be levelled at Frank Lampard, who responded to Gary Lineker’s “When they get that dragon on their shirt, it really spurs them on, doesn’t it?” with “Yeah, quality, quality, yeah, emotional. Emotion. We saw that in the last Euros, and why not?”.
That’s why they pay him the big bucks.
