The sister of a woman who went missing more than a decade ago says it is impossible not to think about the last moments before her suspected death.
Jerildene Cane's 23-year-old sister, Leisl Smith, was last seen alive on CCTV getting into a white ute at Tuggerah railway station on the NSW Central Coast in August 2012.
The vehicle belonged to her accused killer, James Church, who died by suicide on the eve of a verdict being delivered in the Supreme Court in July 2022.
Legal proceedings must be terminated if the accused person dies, according to laws of abatement.
The legislation means Ms Smith's family still do not know if she was murdered, almost 13 years after she went missing.
Ms Cane told the NSW Coroners Court on Wednesday she hoped her sister did not suffer before her suspected death.
"I've spent the last 13 years riding this rollercoaster of psychological highs and lows ... and will continue to be on this unwanted ride for the rest of my life," she told the inquest into Ms Smith's suspected death.
"This has forever changed who I am."
In their last conversation, Ms Cane told the court her sister shared bright plans for the the future, including returning to TAFE to study.
"The only thing I wish I had done is hug her," she said.
Her sister would never get the chance to have children, get married, do more study, or whinge about the cost of living like everyone else, Ms Cane said.
"Leisl had a life full of possibilities and potential," she said.
The decisions made by her sister in the months leading up to her death were not dissimilar to those made by many other young people, Ms Cane told the court.
At the time of her disappearance, Church lived a few doors up from the home Ms Smith shared with her father.
Church, then aged 42, started a sexual relationship with Ms Smith after she helped care for his horses, the inquest has been told.
In the months leading up to her disappearance, Ms Smith told several people she was pregnant with Church's child, including his partner Belinda Lees.
It was not clear if Ms Smith was pregnant, the inquest was told.
Ms Smith's body has never been found, but the lead detective in her case, Michael Jones, told the inquest on Wednesday he believed it lay near his area of work.
"It's something that I think about all the time," he said, before addressing Ms Smith's mother Sandi Harvey in the courtroom.
"I'm sorry I couldn't give you the ultimate answers that you really wanted ... you deserve them.
"I've done my best and I'm sorry."
Deputy State Coroner Harriet Grahame praised the quality of his investigation and said hope remained something could be found.
"It is very clear to me that you went above and beyond," she said.
Detective Sergeant Jones said Ms Smith's family deserved to know Justice Elizabeth Fullerton's sealed verdict and called for reform to the laws of abatement.
"I believe in our investigation, I know in my heart what the result was going to be in trial," he told the court.
"That decision would have helped (Ms Smith's family) to reconcile and move forward."
Ms Cane said she was often asked what she wanted from the inquest.
"To be brutally honest I do not know completely what I want," she said.
"I don't want another family going through what I have in any shape or form."
The inquest continues on Thursday.
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