Jessica Simpson, famously married-by-television to a man from a boy band, and divorced due to irreconcilable thicknesses, has been dating but now, alas, poor lass, is single once more.
Appearing as a guest host on US daytime television, however, she was able to elucidate upon the question that has at some point bothered us all - "What is desirable in the perfect partner?" - and manages to come up with the answer that we might never have thought of: "The desire to meet our grandparents. Immediately".
There are other important criteria, of course.
"(I need) somebody who's a really great family guy. Like, if a kid were to come up to him and tug on his shirt, he'd pick him up and twirl him around. I definitely love a family man, a guy that's not afraid to pick up the babies."
And then, of course, the killer point:
" Somebody that wants to meet my grandparents immediately. I think all those characteristics are what make a man attractive."
And also, perhaps, the qualities to come together to make a man 'slightly terrifying' I mean, imagine it: perhaps that child-twirling is actually part of a violent ninja move incited by the seemingly innocent tugging of a shirt. Being unafraid to pick up babies is all fine and good and dandy - but if they're merely picking it up in order to see how far they can punt the poor little darling, then that is very bad news.
It is in just that situation, I would conjecture, that if your new beau - having just walked through the door, whirled around quicker than an backalley ninja on speed, snapped little Johnny in half and scored a drop goal with tiny Mia - suddenly expresses an interest in locating your grandparents at the nearest possible opportunity, you might possibly want to not disclose their location. And you might also want to ask yourself if you might at some point in the recent or remote past done some great offence to the family or gods of your new young man - such as killing his father in a duel, for example - that might cause him to behave so. And then you might want to run away.
Even if he DOES have a cute butt.
