11.48, Mon, Apr 13
To: David Axelrod [davidaxelrod@barackobama.com]
Subject: Re: Welcome Back, World Leader
Yes, a little tired, but also, frankly, a little exasperated - I travel to Europe, call for an end to nuclear weapons, head to Turkey, reach out to Islam while delicately avoiding the g-word, drop in on Iraq to support our men and women in harm's way, and when I get back, what does everyone say? Good work? Nice reshaping of the world's agenda? Well done for handling the North Korean thing on the fly? No. They say: where's your dog? Weren't you supposed to be getting a dog this week?
And now I have a meeting about the White House Easter Egg Roll. I know, like nothing else is going on, right?
Barack
To: Katie McCormick Lelyveld [kate.lelyveld@whitehouse.gov]
Subject: Re: eggs and dogs
Don't get me wrong. I think your comment saying the dog
"definitely won't be arriving this week" showed good
instincts. It kills the story while gently reminding the media
that we have bigger fish to fry. The problem is, I got so fed up
that I snuck out and picked up the dog yesterday. Now we
have to keep it a secret until at least the weekend. How long
can it live in the carrier box? A couple of days, max? Also, if
you get a chance, can you check which breed of dog I agreed
to? I just had a peek through the air holes, and it looks sorta
freaky. Maybe it's just stressed from the helicopter ride.
BHO
To: Senior White House staff
Re: The Beagle Has Landed
Hello all. By now you may well have seen the latest addition
to the household bounding along the corridors. If you have,
could you try and grab it? It's been missing for about four
hours, and the secret service are v uncomfortable with
anything moving around without a security badge.
To: Malia Obama [hypoallergenic_puppies_are_cute@yahoo.com]
Subject: transitioning the dog
I believe we had an agreement, a solemn agreement, an
agreement based on trust, regarding "off -limits" and
"on-limits" zones. This is especially important while we have
yet to make an official announcement about the puppy's
arrival. Let me say this: what happened this morning can
never happen again. I meet important people in that room.
Fortunately it's the incoming president's privilege to
commission a new Oval Office rug. That one is off to the GWB
library. Let them try and get the stain out.
I received your name suggestions. Gotta run them by
WH staff to make sure they don't present any difficulties,
eg they aren't also the names of prominent communists or
hurricanes that killed loads of people. I'm gonna presume
that "Levi" is a joke. Dad
• This article was altered on 29 July 2009 to amend an email address.
