XIA, XIA GOT FLOORED
Generally speaking, when the owner of a club is on Twitter and actually engages with the great unwashed keyboard jabbers out there, only bad can come of it. They will almost inevitably get themselves involved with some sort of highly unedifying slanging match, will say something stupid or, even worse, actually listen to the opinions being belched incoherently at them. Still, sometimes it can provide amusement for the rest of us, and new Aston Villa owner Tony Xia could not have timed his foray on to the world wide web better.
On Wednesday afternoon Xia took part in an official Twitter Q&A, the sort of thing where usually only the most banal queries are answered in the most banal and uncontroversial manner possible, so as to give the impression of communicating with the people without actually saying anything of note. That’s the plan, anyway. But in answer to the question “where do you see Villa in five years’ time?” posed by an unwitting chap named Sam, Xia answered: “The top club in Europe with the highest number of fans all over the world.”
Cut to a few hours later, and his Villa side, featuring a number of players with years of top-flight experience (admittedly, experience of being no good there, but still), found themselves on the ugly end of a thorough 3-1 hosing by Luton in the Milk Cup. Following up their opening weekend Championship defeat to Sheffield Wednesday, Villa found themselves flapping and floundering, their season having started with all the gusto and vim of an overcooked flan. Sitcom writers could not have crafted the whole thing better. Needless to say, Xia wasn’t quite as chirpy after the game, locating the nearest moving bus and firmly chucking an indeterminate number of his underperforming players under it. “Even we agreed to take the LC match as checking game, some players are not worth being given chance,” he howled.
Still, it’s good to see manager Bobby Di Matteo has got a handle on things and has used his years of experience in the game to pinpoint exactly how they conceded three goals to a League Two side. “We will have to make sure we defend better,” he sagely mused, possibly while swilling a glass of brandy, and sitting in a high-backed leather chair in front of a bookcase full of Football for Dummies tomes. “We do create chances at the other end but to win games you need to defend,” he continued. Pick holes in that one if you can.
In some respects it’s quite nice that the owner of a club is setting high targets for his team. Aim for the stars, and even if you miss, at least you tried. Better to die on your feet than live on your knees and all that. And as these things usually come in threes, you can insert your own meaningless platitude about the benefits of positivity here. Ambition is good, trying is good, self-improvement is good. But perhaps you should maybe think twice about predicting your team, currently in the second tier and with Aly Cissokho remaining a first-choice player, will usurp Barcelona, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich within half a decade, particularly when your own manager doesn’t exactly share your optimism. “It’s a house that needs to be knocked down and started afresh,” was Di Matteo’s chipper assessment of the state of things when he arrived, a more realistic if a little gloomier prediction of what the immediate future holds at Villa Park. Xia seems to be asking his employees to knock down a two-bed semi and throw the Burj Khalifa up in its place, and be bloody quick about it too. So sure, be optimistic, aim high, be ambitious. Just try not to make yourself look like a complete clanker in the process.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Most of you who are on my FB page are aware of the work that I do tackling racism and the work I do for Show Racism A Red Card. And for that work yesterday I was nominated for a MBE. Which unfortunately I had to decline the nomination for the reason that my ancestors would be turning in their graves after how empire and colonialism had enslaved them. This is a decision that I have had to make and there will be others who may feel different and would enjoy the attraction of being a Member of the British Empire and those three letters after their name, but I feel that it would be a betrayal to all of the Africans who have lost their lives, or who have suffered as a result of empire” – Howard Gayle, Liverpool’s first black footballer, takes a stand.
FIVER LETTERS
“Let me get this straight: the guy who simply asks a question that you should be asking and investigating gets letter o’the day (yesterday’s Fiver letters), while the chap who does investigate and obtains a fairly decent response from a very good source gets nothing? Is that shame or bitterness because of someone showing you how it’s done?” – Dan Hodge.
“Please pass on my thanks to Paul Tomkow for following up and apologies to the Albistons for any inconvenience caused by my genuine mistake (yesterday’s letters). He must have a flamin’ double over here though. I don’t have any other chance encounter stories so will just say goodbye” – Mark Jones.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Rollover.
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BITS AND BOBS
Claudio Ranieri is talking down Leicester’s chances of retaining the Premier League title. “It’s not normal that we can win the league. It’s more difficult than last season. It’s easier that ET comes to Piccadilly Circus,” he tooted.
Swansea City are one Borja Bastón better off after pinging £15.5m in Atlético Madrid’s direction.
Now that his Olympics are over, Taxpayers’ FC think £4m is a price worth paying to get Jonathan Calleri on a season’s loan from Deportivo Maldonado. “Unfortunately for him but good for us Argentina were knocked out … so he should be here with us – not today, not tomorrow, but pretty soon, depending on work permit or whatever,” sniffed Slaven Bilic.
Barely a week before their Big Cup play-off first leg and then La Liga’s big kick-off, Villarreal have parted company with manager Marcelino.
Former international keeper Stanislav Cherchesov is the new manager of Russia.
José Mourinho’s renowned faith in youth hasn’t been enough to sway him from selling Paddy McNair and Donald Love to Sunderland for £5.5m.
Tim Cahill has punched his way into a first flamin’ stint in the A-League. “I am incredibly excited to have signed with Melbourne City and, ultimately, the City Football Group,” he trousered.
Odion Ighalo has signed a contract extension with Watford.
England manager Sam Allardyce once said he’d be more suited to working for the likes of Real Madrid. He’ll get an early chance to test himself against some of the European champions’ stars when Spain visit Wembley for a 15 November friendly.
And Jonathan Woodgate is now part of Liverpool’s European scouting network.
STILL WANT MORE?
Jonathan Wilson predicts Leicester City will return to earth with a bump after last season’s perfect Premier League storm.
Would Foxes supporters take a 17th-place finish this time around? The fans look ahead at the new season, and you can have your say in our pre-season polls.
The Fiver’s colleague Xavi Hernández says his former manager Pep is an intense radical who will not let up until Manchester City are successful in his style.
This week’s Classic YouTube includes Premier League players on tour – not those – as well as fan impersonations and new kits.
Our Premier League pre-season previews continue with David Hytner suggesting Spurs will only get better and Simon Burnton concerned Watford may struggle for rhythm after another bewildering turnover in managers and players.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. AND INSTACHAT, TOO!
