Is Scrabble like life or is life like Scrabble? It's been a big question in our household during lockdown and I just got to spell it out man.
Sometimes you get the letters you want, other times you just get letters. Really crap ones. If that's not a metaphor for something, I don't know what is.
What I do know is that Scrabble's a choice, like binge eating chips or day drinking. Only a healthier one during social isolation.
Played on a board and not just because we're bored, Scrabble is mentally destabilising, I mean stimulating. And if people dispute that, they've probably got crap letters.
What's not in dispute is that sometimes it feels like the Scrabble gods hate you. Particularly when you pick up seven vowels. But you gotta keep the chin up because you never know, "aoooiie" might just be in the Macquarie. Like "qi" and "teg" and all those other dodgy bombs jagged from the posterior by rivals desperately combing "the dic".
Oherwise it's probably the sound you're making during an existential letter crisis.
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We play a two-minute rule to keep things ticking over because lord knows time stands still quick enough when you can't leave the house.
But we added an extra "this one's for real" minute because no one ever takes two minutes. It comes with the threat of points forfeit and lifelong branding as a cheaterer (not sure that's in the dic) if people don't comply.
Early on I took a devil-may care attitude to the craft, more concerned about quick words, than points earned. Little thought was given to the tactical suffocation methodically being imposed by opponents selfishly intent on shutting down the board with their shitty high-scoring plays.
As a consequence, I ran last a lot and suffered indignation. Indeed, family members jockeyed for a seat to my left for the next game. Such was my reputation for opening up the triple.
But Scrabble and defeat have changed me. I've learned that a quick game is not necessarily a good game, and although we may all be in coronavirus together, it's everyone for themselves in Scrabble.
Patent self interest is the key and "pass the dic" synonymous with "I've got no idea".
Pathetic really until you find yourself doing the same, frantically flicking pages for ways to make language match letters. And remind me again, does "L" come before "J"? It's hard to remember under pressure.
But amazing how many previously unheard of words are seemingly related to a rare Scottish fish or obscure Tibetan yak. Potential game changers each and every one of them and make no mistake, it all adds up.
Life is like Scrabble and vice versa. A lottery every time you dip your hand in the sack, complete with highs and lows - often depending on the vowel to consonants ratio.
But hang in there steadfast enough and you too may one day swoop home with a seven-letter 50-point bonus disposal on a triple word score if you're opponent is stupid enough to open it up.
You've just gotta believe that sooner or later things are gonna go your way.
