Golden balls in Armani pants ... David Beckham
What I really want for Christmas is some of those Armani pants that David Beckham models. They do wonders for his penis, so mine should come up a treat. I don't know what to make of it all really, it looks as though he's got a packet of Pringles down there.
It's obvious what the Beckhams are up to, though. He's a flop with England and the LA Galaxy, so he thinks: "sod it, I'll stuff my pants with cotton wool balls."
Those two are so funny. Whenever the Beckhams get any bad press, he appears half naked on a hotel balcony or in his Speedos or gets a new haircut. Either that or she gets really thin.
If my big new show (plug alert) Alan Carr's Celebrity Ding Dong is a flop on Channel 4 in January - or if no one watches The Friday Night Christmas Project with Girls Aloud (Friday December 21, 10pm) or The Friday Night Christmas Project with Davina McCall (Friday December 28, 9pm), you watch out for me in my Tanga briefs!
