HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCO!
A Euro for Marco Reus’s thoughts. All over Europe, managers of national football association teams bound for France 2016 were choosing their final 23-man squads – and all had been touched by The Gamble. Namely, The Gamble that some of their key players would recover from injuries, The Gamble that they could fulfil their potential when it mattered most. Roy Hodgson, Croydon’s favourite son, lionheart of England, gambled on puberty’s Marcus Rashford and physio-fave Daniel Sturridge, partly because even if the Liverpool man doesn’t recover from the host of knacks he is struggling with, at least he can keep spirits up within the England camp with his haircuts or his dancing. The best looking man in Wales and Real Sociedad cult hero Chris Coleman gambled on Joe Ledley, partly because even if the Crystal Palace man didn’t recover from the BROKEN LEG he suffered only LAST MONTH, at least he could keep the spirits up within the Wales camp with his beard or his dancing.
The trouble for Germany’s Joachim Löw is that he used up all his gambles on Bastian Schweinsteiger and Lucas Podolski (the former having not started a match since January – before Rashford made his Manchester United debut – the latter having scored 14 league goals in two years since Germany’s World Cup triumph) meaning there was no gamble, indeed no place, left for Reus. Tuesday had started well enough for Marco. It was his birthday, after all. But somewhere between 9.33am – when Germany’s Twitter account wished him a Happy 27th, cruelly with the hashtag #JederFuerJeden = ‘All for one and one for all’ - and 11.42am, when the same Twitter account informed him that he would be playing no part in the Euros. “He has huge health problems and can only run straight at the moment,” mumbled Löw, of a problem that also may have been the cause of Andros Townsend’s England omission. “The medical staff could not give a clear prognosis for Marco. He has massive injury problems and the medical staff was very sceptical about his ability to last through the coming weeks and such a gruelling tournament. It is a bitter decision and bitter for Marco.”
Having suffered ankle-knack less than 10 days before Germany’s triumphant World Cup campaign two years ago, injury-time exits to Liverpool last month and yet another defeat by Bayern in the German Cup final a few days ago – after which Reus gave his victorious former team-mate and bestie Robert Lewandowski a look so smouldering, so broiling that the Fiver broke down in tears in front of The Man at the thought of friendship lost, of love squandered – Marco is no stranger to last-minute heartache. But announcements rarely come any crueller than this and deciding against taking one of your best players even for the latter stages of a tournament because you are ‘sceptical’ about him making a recovery - particularly when you’ve just lost 3-1 to Slovakia and your only recognised striker is Mario Gomez, 84 – is a strange one.
Long live The Gamble. Marco, start practising your dancing, lad. Your injury just before the World Cup in 2018 is only two years away.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“At the end of the day, Lee is a massive Leicester fan and his idol is Jamie Vardy. He’s genuinely gutted that he seems to have got this bitterness from the Vardy camp” – a postman called Lee Chapman, who looks a bit like Jamie Vardy and who rode a medium-sized wave of publicity when he had his picture taken with his hero this season, releases a statement through his Mr 15% (yes his Mr 15%!), to bemoan being blocked by the Leicester striker on Twitter.
FIVER LETTERS
“The most Frenchiest of French names I’ve ever come across (Fiver passim) belongs to that of incredibly French sounding Cécile de France, the ‘lady actor’ (I believe that to be the correct terminology, in accordance with the Guardian’s style guide) best known to UK audiences as Steve Coogan’s Parisian love interest in the remake of Around the World in 80 Days. It would be an incredibly appropriate name for a French actor, were it not for the fact that the lady in question is Belgian” – Tim Grey.
“Re. Jim Scragg: the internet indeed came to be in the 70s, in fact, 22 November 1977. So Jeremy Adams could well be stuck in the 70s before the internet was even born, as long as it’s no later in the decade than 21 November, 1977” – Kári Tulinius (and no others).
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Rollover.
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RECOMMENDED LISTENING
The last Football Weekly of the domestic season has landed! Get your lugholes round it here.
And what’s this? Football Weekly Live is heading back to Manchester on 2 September. Get your tickets here while they’re lukewarm. It’s international week. You’ll need something to do.
BITS AND BOBS
England’s squad for Euro 2016: Goalkeepers Joe Hart (Manchester City), Tom Heaton (Burnley), Fraser Forster (Southampton). Defenders John Stones (Everton), Nathaniel Clyne (Liverpool), Chris Smalling (Manchester United), Ryan Bertrand (Southampton), Kyle Walker (Tottenham), Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Danny Rose (Tottenham). Midfielders Adam Lallana (Liverpool), Dele Alli (Tottenham), $exually Repressed Morris dancing Fiver (Fiver Towers), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), Raheem Sterling (Man City), Ross Barkley (Everton), Eric Dier (Tottenham), Jack Wilshere (Arsenal), James Milner (Liverpool). Forwards Jamie Vardy (Leicester City), Marcus Rashford (Man Utd), Wayne Rooney (Man Utd), Daniel Sturridge (Liverpool), Harry Kane (Tottenham).
Michael Carrick, 78, has been offered a one-year extension to his Manchester United contract by José Mourinho.
Meanwhile, José has promised not to get all up in Pep Guardiola’s grill when the two of them go mano-a-mano next season. So definitely expect peace and harmony in Manchester then.
Lionel Messi was unable to attend the first day of his tax-knack case in Spain because of back-knack.
Heather Rabbatts has considered quitting the FA board after their latest reform failure. “It’s very frustrating and it leads you to question what you can do to shift it,” she sighed.
And the Mexican footballer Alan Pulido, who was kidnapped and held for 24 hours over the weekend, escaped his captors by disarming and taking a mobile phone away from one of them, Steven Seagal-style, then calling the fuzz.
STILL WANT MORE?
David Squires on Real Madrid’s Big Cup victory.
Christian Pulisic: the making of a young man ready to step up. Nick Ames on the rising USA! USA!! USA!!! star.
You want a Golden Goal? Good. Here’s Conrad Leach on Daniele Massaro scoring one for Milan v Barcelona in the 94 Big Cup final.
Chelsea’s soon-to-be new gladiator, Antonio Conte, gets the treatment in this week’s Gallery.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
