We all know how badly hurt Alice Evans has been by the split from her actor husband of 14 years Ioan Gruffudd – because she has poured out her heart on social media.
We have heard every detail of their break-up, and she has publicly vented her anger and shared her devastation.
She tweeted: “So it turns out that my husband after two years of telling me I’m a bad person and I’m not exciting and he no longer wants to have sex with me and he just wants to be on set abroad… has been in a relationship for three years behind all our backs. Good luck, Bianca.”
Ouch! Naturally she would want to lash out. After being rejected, you want the other person to know that you’re not going quietly.
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I can imagine the gratification she got when she pressed “send” and the comfort she derived from the subsequent messages of support from her followers.
The clickbait industry and gossip mags have had a field day with her outpourings. Type in her name on a search engine now and you won’t see the films she has starred in, but instead her latest damning quote on her failed marriage.
But the problem with washing your dirty laundry in public is that there is a very fine line between standing up for yourself and coming across bitter and twisted – the “bunny boiler” scene comes to mind from the film Fatal Attraction.
I am a firm believer that if you feel wronged, then it’s your right to seek justice and if that’s by calling out someone on a public platform, then so be it. But if you go down that route, it’s important to remember the impact it might have on your children down the line.
However, when you realise that the person you have trusted, shared a life with and perhaps built a family with shatters all of that – how would you react?
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If ever I were to find myself in that position (God forbid!), I know that the first thing I would do is call my best friend.
That’s because I know how emotional and impulsive I can be – in the past I have reacted to situations without thinking and it landed me in hot water. I know my bestie would be able to calm me down.
She would help me look at the big picture and the long term impact my actions could have on my children.
Relate advises seeking support from friends, family members or talking to a trained relationship counsellor when things fall apart.
Nowhere does it advise venting on social media.
While it can be healing and positive to share your feelings and anxieties on a public platform, I have also learned that there are some things which just need to be dealt with in the old-fashioned way – in private.
