You might think the tuxedo is one of those staples with which you just shouldn't mess. You might adduce as evidence any photo of Simon and Garfunkel at the 1975 Grammys, at which Garfunkel wore a dinner jacket over a T-shirt on which was printed a picture of a dress shirt and bow tie. He not only looks like a pillock, he looks like a pillock who spent some time chuckling smugly in the mirror before going out.
But maybe there should be room to adapt men's evening dress. A dinner suit is meant to be the thing men look best in, the outfit that most brings out masculine suavity, James Bond's preferred mode of dress. But I know loads of men, myself included, who hate it. The only thing it brings out in me is a resemblance to a waiter in a seedy taverna. You can mess around with the dinner suit all you want; you couldn't make it any less appealing to me.
That was a statement I quickly filed under "rash" when I saw Thom Browne's "alternative tuxedo", which involved shorts and black knee socks. But other designers' attempts were pretty laudable: I probably wouldn't wear one with nothing underneath, as Givenchy appeared to be suggesting on the catwalk, but Acne's slim-cut version seemed to lose just enough formality. I liked the one pictured. "You look all right," grunted the stylist, who normally sits with her head in her hands, letting out the occasional muffled sob. At least I didn't think I looked as if I should be asking if anybody wanted more retsina, which counts as an improvement.
• Alexis wears tuxedo £1,495, and shirt £175, both by Ozwald Boateng.
Shoes £175, by Russell & Bromley.
Photograph: David Newby for the Guardian. Grooming: Lisa Stokes.
