According to the Washington Post, last week President Donald Trump notched up his 10,000th lie or untruth since took he took office. While many of the falsehoods are admittedly trifling and others child-like exaggerations of which he is so fond, there have also been a few embarrassing "whoppers". It still works out at about 17 alleged "porky pies" a day, which takes some doing.
It highlights the fact that these days it doesn't seem to matter if someone tells the truth or not. If you want to believe something then it's okay, even if it is clearly a lot of old cobblers. A reflection of the times.
"Truth" has always been the most abused word in the dictionary and it has certainly taken a pummelling in recent years. We have been subjected to a bombardment of half-truths, U-turns, doublespeak, deception, fibs, fabrications, falsehoods, forked tongues and "alternative facts".
As the old saying goes, "A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can put its boots on"
It is not confined to politics. Every day people in courts of law vow to "tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" only to spout a long string of lies without even going red in the face. As HL Mencken once observed: "It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth, when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."
A tangled web
To be fair, many politicians don't come out with blatant lies. More often than not they deal in prevarication and evasiveness, or are simply "economical with the truth". When a politician tells us "we are doing all we can" he usually leaves out the important bit, "to sweep everything under the carpet".
Probably all of us are guilty of telling little white lies, but often it's to avoid hurting someone's feelings -- like telling the wife that the garish polka-dot shirt she bought for your birthday is just what you wanted. Or agreeing with Isan villagers that a breakfast of ant eggs and roasted moths was most delicious.
Something often forgotten is that lying is really hard work and can get you into increasing trouble, each falsehood digging a deeper hole. As Sir Walter Scott wrote in Marmion: "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." English novelist Samuel Butler had a similar view, remarking: "Any fool can tell the truth, but it takes a man of some sense to lie well."
Shades of grey
There are a lot of grey areas in the art of lying. Many untruths spoken by public figures tend to be more a case of wishful thinking than outright deception.
Some years ago the then-governor of Bangkok announced that only 27 people had been robbed in the Big Mango in the first nine months of the year. Now, while Bangkok is a significantly safer city than many, just three robberies a month in a city of 10 million people seemed to be stretching things a bit. It was a statement which Winston Churchill would have probably termed "terminological inexactitude".
Which brings us to the female Thai politician who returned from an in-depth survey of Pattaya in 1999 to announce that there was absolutely no evidence of a sex industry there. The USS Kitty Hawk, which happened to be parked in the bay at the time, was, of course, full of sailors eager to visit Pattaya's famous temples.
Flower arrangers
You can't be too hard on people who tell half-truths, as they have provided us with considerable chuckles over the years.
The best case of laughable lies in Thailand occurred in 1993, when it was leaked that an influential politician had hosted a party for fellow MPs at which about 20 "service girls" were spotted. It prompted some wonderful explanations, and considerable confusion, as to what exactly was the role of these young ladies.
One politician explained they were simply "waitresses", while another said they were "singers". A third explanation was that the young ladies were there purely "for conversation", no doubt to discuss the laws of supply and demand.
But the most entertaining explanation was that the girls were representatives of an "outdoor flower arrangement service". Apparently the reason gentlemen were seen going upstairs with the girls was to check out the flower arrangements on the second floor. A case of the porky pies being more entertaining than the truth.
Bottom line
Another favourite concerns a Viennese philatelist who went to court after being accused of bursting into the bedroom of his landlady's daughter, whipping off her towel and grabbing her bottom. He explained to the court he had left a valuable stamp soaking in the communal bath and suspected it might have been stuck to the daughter's backside.
He didn't find the stamp but he did get a slap in the face and a hefty fine.
Alan Dawson
I've received a number of enquiries from readers as to why Alan Dawson's column has not been appearing in this section on recent Sundays. Unfortunately, some weeks ago Alan suffered a bad fall at home and was hospitalised for several weeks. He has since returned to his home where he is being looked after by his wife. We all wish him a full and speedy recovery.
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