Alan Titchmarsh's a poet, who would've known it?

Alan Titchmarsh is many things – gardener, TV presenter, novelist and … poet. Yes, Monkey didn't know either. The great man, currently entertaining the nation with his ITV1 afternoon show, has penned a poem called So Far … for the latest issue of Gardeners' World magazine. It's all for a good cause: to find the nation's best poem inspired by a garden. Alas there's no room – not even in the whole of the wide world web – to reprint his effort in full. Here's the opening verse. "I started at this gardening lark, When I was young and green, Upon my grandad's cabbage patch 'Neath rows of runner bean." And the last: "But when I'm one and sixty, I'll toddle out the door 'Cos now that I'm a Sex God, It don't matter any more." Currently on the Alan Titchmarsh Show website: "Alan and Rosemary cook a delicious rack of lamb" and "Enter the singing pensioner competition". Welcome to Titchworld.