To put it quite simply, Alan Page is one of the greatest players at any position in NFL history, and that might not be the most impressive part of his life resume. He had 148.5 sacks in regular seasons from 1967 through 1981 and eight more in 19 postseason appearances. That ranks him first all-time among full-time defensive tackles, and eighth in NFL history. In 1971, Page became the first defensive player to win the NFL’s Most Valuable Player award — only he and Lawrence Taylor have accomplished that feat. Page was a nine-time Pro Bowler, a six-time All-Pro, and he was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1988.
Somehow, Page’s post-football life has been even more extraordinary. Page entered law school at the University of Minnesota during his NFL career and acquired a law degree in 1978, entering private practice in 1979. Page joined the Minnesota Attorney General’s office in 1985, and became an associate justice in the Minnesota Supreme Court, a position he held until 2015, when he reached the court’s mandatory retirement age of 70. Page has run marathons, authored two children’s books with his daughter Kamie (Alan and His Perfectly Pointy Impossibly Perpendicular Pinky in 2013, and The Invisible You in 2014), and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2018.
Basically, Alan Page is everything Chuck Norris wishes he could be. And yet, this remarkable life is apparently not good enough to get the man a blue checkmark on Twitter.
Not notable! Hmmm.! #notnotable @Twitter pic.twitter.com/NcfdzUglEN
— Alan Page (@ACPage_77) August 26, 2021
We are wondering how Alan Page doesn’t meet Twitter’s criteria for notability and Anthony Scaramucci, for example, does. Generally speaking, Twitter hands out checkmarks like Halloween candy, but one of the greatest players the NFL has ever seen, who made even more of his life after football, doesn’t make the cut? We would like this explained to us as if we were five years old.
Or, perhaps we would prefer that Alan Page just gets the verification he so richly deserves. We don’t know exactly how many people are too good for Twitter, but we’re pretty sure that Alan Page is one of them.
