Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace has admitted she started planning her own funeral during a cancer scare.
The former Big Brother star, 40, started making plans over fears she'd die.
Aisleyne says she suffered plenty of sleepless nights as she contemplated making arrangements for her loved ones.
The reality star has spoken out about her three-week wait for test results after "excruciating" stomach pains left her fearing the worst.
And she says that her "blood ran cold" when cancer was first mentioned to her by doctors.
Aisleyne's mum Sophia Horgan died from breast cancer in 2012 at age 54.
The star told The Sun : "I thought that was going to be my fate too. I thought I was going to die."
Aisleyne says she had to have an operation to remove five pieces of her stomach so they could be examined for cancer cells, before waiting three weeks for the results, and that all she could think about was her mum.
She added: "I started writing wills and thinking about who would get what. I tried holding onto hope, but I would Google things when I couldn't sleep.
"I'd be awake in the middle of the night planning what would happen to my body. I wanted my ashes to be made into a diamond."
It was over Christmas when Aisleyne, who found fame on Big Brother in 2006, began suffering stomach pains so bad they left her bed-ridden.
She says her mind raced during sleepless nights, but that she eventually "made peace" with herself and lay awake thinking up contingency plans in case the worst happened.
And she says that despite the "excruciating pain", she managed to have her family over on Christmas Day.
She didn't tell anyone at the time as she didn't want them to worry about her.
Thankfully, her tests came back negative, and Aisleyne says she broke down in tears on hearing the news.
She had been suffering from stomach erosion, and doctors still don't know if it was caused by a bacterial bug or having too much acid in her diet.
She's taking medication for it and says she's given up binge drinking.
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