Hilariously baroque spending news now, as court papers take us inside the outgoings of Johnny Depp. By way of background, the Pirates of the Caribbean star is suing his former financial management company for mishandling his money for 17 years, and they have now filed their own suit saying he still owes them a fee.
This has given them a chance to detail some of the actor’s spending. It ranges from the basics – $200,000 a month on private aviation, $30,000 a month on wine – to the recherché – £3m to launch Hunter S Thompson’s ashes out of a cannon. I know! You have to think the ash cannon guys saw him coming. Or did they chuck in a Minuteman III to strap the urn to? Either way, when journalism goes tits-up (November?), I’m definitely getting into the ash cannon business. Then again, perhaps the single big fish has been landed by that industry, and ash cannonry is now in managed decline, with the moguls of its golden years – or rather, year – now resident in the Bahamas.
Speaking of the Bahamas, I should probably mention that Depp owns a chain of islands there, and a French village, and collection of artefacts – Hollywood-related and otherwise – that is rumoured to now occupy 12 storage facilities in Los Angeles. There was also a £22m yacht, which he subsequently sold to JK Rowling, who has apparently listed it for resale at £18m or £15m. Reports differ. Either way, it looks an absolutely beautiful boat, and at this rate of depreciation, I am hoping to snap it up myself for a grand about five owners from now.
All in all, Depp seems like the most vivid accountant’s nightmare since Nicolas Cage, who was always being told to rein in his castles habit, only to inform his handlers that he had just splashed out on another one in Somerset. How could he resist it – it was shaped like a trefoil? In other instances of Proper Celebrity Behaviour, Cage once outbid Leonardo DiCaprio on a T rex skull; purchased two albino king cobras for $270,000; acquired a $150,000 octopus as an acting study aid; and informed an interviewer that he ate only animals that have “dignified” sex. Clearly, Depp has some way to go to best him, but on this evidence, he may yet be Cage’s worthiest foe.
