Ben Utecht and Rhys Lloyd, friends since both were on the University of Minnesota football team, were chatting about a surprise party that Utecht's wife threw for his 30th birthday. After the party, the Utechts and the Lloyds had spent three days relaxing in a cabin.
Lloyd had fond memories of that weekend.
Utecht had no memories at all.
"My heart sank into my stomach," Lloyd said from Florida, where the former Gophers kicker is the director of coaching at a soccer academy. "Here was my best friend _ the best man at my wedding _ and he couldn't remember a thing. ... It scared me."
Utecht, a star at Minnesota who played for the Indianapolis Colts team that won the Super Bowl in 2007, suffered multiple concussions during his playing career.
Those concussions are eating away at his memory, but he's fighting back by taking part in a rigorous, innovative treatment that could stem that loss. Still, as the father of four daughters under age 8, he's worried that when they'll need his advice, he won't be able to remember what to tell them. Or worse _ he might not even remember them.
When he was first diagnosed with concussion-related memory issues, he wrote a letter to his wife and kids.
"I'm afraid to forget you, to wake up and open my eyes and not know you anymore, to be unable to recognize the greatest loves of my life by face or name," he wrote.
When he parlayed a lifelong interest in music into a singing career, he expounded on those thoughts in a song titled "You Will Always Be My Girls." The lyrics include: "I'll hold on as long as I can to you."
Now he's written a book, "Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away: A Love Letter to My Family." It covers everything he'd like his kids to know about him, from his philosophy ("I refuse to give up") to his Christianity ("Knowing there's something bigger than myself is very important") to his perspective on love.
"I'm a hopeless romantic," he said, admitting that he went to see "The Notebook" of his own volition _ and liked it.
Like that tear-jerker, Utecht's story would seem to have all the makings of a four-handkerchief sob story. But he sees it as just the opposite: an inspiring account of a comeback in the making that would top anything on a football field.
"I really want this to be a book of hope," he said.
The hope is pinned on a brain-training program he has undertaken. It's based on the theory that through an extensive regimen of memory exercises _ 2{ hours a day, four days a week spent memorizing lists of random words and numbers and then reciting them _ damaged brains can generate new neurological pathways to replace those that no longer function.
So far, for Utecht, it's working.
"I've been lifted out of my mental fog," Utecht said. "A year ago, I'd lose myself in the middle of a sentence. I'd be talking and I suddenly couldn't remember the words. That has completely gone away."
His wife, Karyn, agreed. "It's been amazing," she said of the change she's seen in him. "It's been really inspiring to watch."
The memories that have disappeared are gone forever, but new ones appear to be sticking. It will take time to see if older memories continue to fade or if the losses have been stabilized, and, he admits, it's impossible for him "not to be afraid of what the future might hold." But at the same time, he's optimistic.
"Now I'm even reminding Karyn of things," he said with a smile.
