CHICAGO _ In his last school play performance, 12-year-old Gabe Deely played a member of the Lollipop Guild in the "The Wizard of Oz," waving a giant lollipop while wearing a brightly colored costume topped off with a red hat adorned with a yellow flower.
The seventh grader at St. Clement Catholic School in Chicago loved theater and choir. He approached his Lollipop Guild part with seriousness, but had fun with the somewhat whimsical role. He was a little nervous before the show, but his older sister, who played Auntie Em, was there with him.
His family remembers him that night as a happy kid, doing a goofy dance and waving the lollipop.
Months later, just before Thanksgiving 2018, Gabe died of suicide.
His family couldn't make sense of it, having seen no warning signs. They struggled to even comprehend a child that young contemplating suicide.
Searching for an explanation about their son's death, Carol Deely and her husband scoured the computers and phones at their Lincoln Park home. They found nothing.
Later, though, they learned he had used a school iPad to research suicide, leading them to believe that he was thinking about his death. They were heartbroken at what they believed was a missed opportunity for intervention.
"We thought we couldn't be hurt any worse, but this was pretty close," his mother said.
The iPad had been kept at St. Clement, a school in the Lincoln Park neighborhood that is overseen by the Archdiocese of Chicago. The Deelys received two weeks of search history from the school that showed that Gabe had researched bullying, along with suicide. He had also accessed sexually inappropriate content that should have been blocked.
"Many parents monitor their kids' devices. I did," Deely said. "I just assumed the school was too."
The Deelys said that after they obtained the two weeks of search history for the iPad, they got a lawyer involved because they wanted the iPad with full search history from the school or the archdiocese. The school's principal and vice principal told them they had to communicate with the archdiocese lawyers, with whom they negotiated to receive the search history. A letter Carol wrote to Cardinal Blase Cupich went unanswered.
"Their actions compounded our grief," she said. "They were more interested in protecting themselves than protecting children."
A spokeswoman for the archdiocese declined an interview and did not answer specific questions. In a statement, Anne Maselli, director of communications for the archdiocese, said its schools "are required to implement systems to ensure it is not used to access digital content inappropriate for students" and that St. Clement had met that requirement.
Now, Carol Deely is on a mission to encourage schools and parents to use technology-monitoring software that would alert adults if children search for certain keywords, like suicide or guns. The technology grew popular after the Parkland, Fla., school shooting.
She founded a nonprofit organization, Gabriel's Light, to raise awareness for the issues and work with schools on monitoring their technology. Deely is also working on including educational programming related to bullying. She said she is seeking to obtain 501(c)(3) status for the organization. In the meantime, the group has set up a fund through the Chicago Community Trust, which partners with local organizations, to handle donations.
"You have to be diligent. If you're going to give a child a device, it's your responsibility," Deely said.
