“Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg,” said novelist Haruki Murakami during an acceptance speech in Israel a few troubled years ago.
Humans have an overwhelming tendency to go for the underdog, science says. It doesn’t matter if we are watching sport or a couple of simple animated objects racing against each other, nearly all of us want to see the little guy win. And it all seemingly ties into fears about our survival and vulnerabilities in a hostile world.
“Each of us is, more or less, an egg,” to quote Murakami again. But if that was really the case, Lionel Messi’s name would have never sold a replica shirt, Adam Goodes would be showered in roses every time he stands up for his people, and the Western Bulldogs would have the most members in the AFL.
The Bulldogs are the club that almost could, but never quite can. In the history of the AFL and VFL, only 11 players have played 300 games or more without making a grand final. Want to guess how many of them are Bulldogs legends? Eight. It’s hard to think of a sadder statistic in the competition.
Top of the list is Bernie “Superboot” Quinlan, the goal-machine who spilt his career between the Bulldogs and Fitzroy. He played 366 games all up, but none were on “that one day in September”.
Lining up behind him are Brad Johnson, Doug Hawkins and Chris Grant. Collectively, that trio played more than 1,000 games for the Bulldogs and captained the club for a decade. Other Bulldogs include a pair of Brownlow medallists (Gary Dempsey, Barry Round) and a two-time runner-up (Scott West).
Current captain Robert Murphy might soon be joining that list too. Matthew Boyd, Daniel Cross and Adam Cooney (yet another Brownlow medallist) aren’t far behind him.
Somehow, despite all this talent at the Whitten Oval over the last half a century, the Bulldogs haven’t made a grand final. Not since 1961.
They don’t have the profile, cash and supporters of many other Melbourne teams. But in the AFL era, the Bulldogs have been one of the city’s more competitive teams. They’ve made it to the preliminary finals once every Olympic cycle (on average), yet haven’t progressed to the grand final once. Statistically, they probably should have been there twice.
Compare that with Hawthorn. From seven preliminary finals in the AFL era, they’ve won four flags. They missed out on another by just a couple of goals. That’s some pretty serious efficiency from the Hawks, and a stark contrast to what the Dogs have been able to do.
So should we all be rooting for the Dogs in their return to the finals this September?
“If you had your druthers, it would be better to have everybody hate you,” says their official cartoonist, First Dog On The Moon. And he envisages some glorious spite-filled days ahead.
“The Dogs have got an opportunity, in my humble opinion, to build something generational here. Everybody [at the club] is of the mind that this could be [the beginning of] something amazing.”
It starts at the top with president Peter Gordon and runs through to the many young players who have been given opportunities this year. Young guns like Marcus Bontempelli (19 years old) and Jake Stringer (21) are coming into their own, and giving Robert Murphy the captaincy was a masterstroke.
First-year coach Luke Beveridge has helped give the side self-belief, and tactically he is taking the game in a new direction. He has brought the game plan of Hawthorn (where he was an assistant to Alastair Clarkson) and adapted it to the Bulldogs’ style.
“It’s running, attacking, overlapping, go-go-go at all costs football that is fun to watch,” one Bulldogs member tells the Guardian. “Which is different to what we are seeing elsewhere.
“It’s like watching kids play footy, but it’s smart, especially the way they pick apart a team’s defence. They are like a master locksmith. It takes a while and then ‘click’. They are in the door, and it’s boom, boom, boom. I’ve seen six preliminary finals, but I believe this will be the best mob ever.”
Until they can get beyond the penultimate week though, the club’s “tragic history” (as former Carlton president, John Elliott, once described it) will endure.
It’s almost impossible to make the grand final from the lower half of the eight, and the Bulldogs record against this season’s top teams is shabby – a knockout blow in yet another preliminary final remains a distinct possibility this year.
Next season though, all bets are off. “And we’re expecting a three-peat,” First Dog says. “We’re expecting to win three in a row. We’ll be unbearable.”
