John Elliot once said of football that it is “the common topic of discussion in bars, boardrooms and yes, even bedrooms. Only the weather might rival it as the opening gambit in a conversation. But I wouldn’t bet on it.” Come September, when seasons are defined, and big games can be the signature of a man, it’s a hard proposition to argue against.
But for those who have spent the past month with their eye off the ball, be it following the fallout in Canberra, or debating the merits of writer’s festivals, here’s a few suggested conversation starters to fake your way through the first week of finals.
Richmond v Hawthorn
The bar: In the last month, Richmond has escaped with narrow wins over Geelong, Essendon and Western Bulldogs. Is this cause for concern, or having secured the double chance, have the Tigers simply been tapering for the finals? Cinderella runs are usually one-off affairs but does Richmond’s home-and-away season more resemble the consistency of their Thursday night opponents than it does their premiership predecessors?
The boardroom: George Megalogenis’s The Football Solution argues that Richmond’s 2017 premiership somehow contains the insight that might help resolve the political mess we find ourselves in. Have we now reached a point where it’s worthwhile considering stretching the metaphor to its ultimate point and simply appoint Peggy O’Neal to run the joint?
The bedroom: Is Dermott Brereton right to suggest that if you try and isolate Alex Rance he’ll play off his opponent and get to the contest to assist and that therefore, Hawthorn should match him against someone he feels he has to stick with – someone worthy of his consideration otherwise he will disrespect him, and play off him? The obvious analogy of the importance of commitment aside, what’s the better trait in a lover – the flair and showmanship of a forward like Brereton, or the consistency and reliability of a key defender such as Rance?
Melbourne v Geelong
The bar: Name a bigger mismatch than the one we’ll have on Friday night when Max Gawn goes up against Geelong’s three-gamer, Ryan Abbott. Sylvester Stallone versus John Lithgow in Cliffhanger? Chris Judd and Jon Ralph? John Millman and Roger Federer? It is a mismatch amplified by the no third-man up rule preventing any intervention at the ball up. Abbot, though, is surely hoping for some sort of intervention all the same – divine, preferably.
The boardroom: Geelong has lost its past two preliminary finals and this year finished eighth. Yet, as expressed by All-Australian defender Tom Stewart during the week, they still believe anything short of a premiership will be a disappointment. In today’s risk adverse business environment, is this a clear failure to manage expectations or is it the sort of attitude the Geelong regional office sorely needs?
The bedroom: Prior to this game, Nathan Jones is the only player on Melbourne’s list who has represented Melbourne in a final. Jordan Lewis says inexperience didn’t hold Hawthorn back when he won a flag with them in 2008. I think we should try something new…
Sydney v GWS Giants
The bar: The Giants and the Swans, more than any other teams, derive a significant percentage of their scores from stoppages, so the midfield battle on Saturday afternoon will be one of the most intriguing contests within a contest. Sydney captain Josh Kennedy is one of the very best in this regard. Does GWS coach Leon Cameron run Dylan Shiel on him, or go for a more experienced head in Callan Ward?
The boardroom: Does another all-Sydney final firmly establish the Sydney v GWS rivalry as a genuine one, and how important is this for football in Australia’s largest market? After all, competition is such an important part of the business ecosystem and drives growth and improvement that will ultimately make both clubs stronger.
The bedroom: Love and veneration for Buddy’s arc onto his left foot aside, is there anything more pure in our game than Josh Kelly’s left foot? “Josh has got a very fast foot, so he’s able to get a lot of foot speed before he contacts the ball,” says Dr Kevin Ball, a biomechanist at Victoria University and co-chair of science and football 2019. “And he’s able to contact the ball low to the ground, close to his support foot.
“To exaggerate it, if you throw the ball way out in front, as your leg swings through it will be on the way up by the time you make contact and the will go high, whereas if you can kick it when it’s right beside your support leg, it’s going to go low and straight.”
The other strength of Kelly’s is that he knows where to put the ball and he can deliver it there very quickly by reducing his flight time. This is crucial as limits the time that defenders can adjust to intercept. That combination with the fact that he kicks it to the right spot makes it very difficult to defend. If you need a little something to get you in the mood…
Kelly lace-out to Greene.
— AFL (@AFL) July 28, 2018
Not easy to stop these two!#AFLGiantsSaints pic.twitter.com/rZFGZSYs4v
West Coast v Collingwood
The bar: Collingwood has the double chance. Do you roll the dice on Adam Treloar who hasn’t played for nine weeks after injuring both hamstrings against Carlton in round 14? As West Coast coach Adam Simpson says: “He’s an A-grade midfielder who has averaged 31 disposals and five clearances a game this season… He breaks the lines and he hits the scoreboard so there’s definitely some worries if he plays.” But then there’s that old maxim this time of year – you don’t play anyone not 100% in a final.
The boardroom: An emerging convention of sportswriters covering the AFL has been the habit of referring to “culture”. Recently the culture of both the Eagles and the Pies has been brought into question – Basil Zempilas quizzing Adam Simpson on what role culture played in the Andrew Gaff incident and Gerard Whateley probing Nathan Buckley in a frosty interview on SEN about Sam Murray’s alleged positive test for a banned illicit substance, reported to be cocaine.
But how important is culture? Is it simply a means to an end? Simpson dismissed Zempilas as “getting caught up in the media storm”, whereas Buckley simply told Whateley that Collingwood’s football had done the talking this year, and its record in retrospect will do the talking.
The bedroom: Just as a holiday can revive a romance, how big an impetus would a finals win on the road in Perth be for Collingwood in creating an irresistible wave of momentum, just as it did for the Western Bulldogs two years ago?
