Baby Millan John van Poppel was stillborn at a heartbreaking 39 weeks on November 2, 2010, his family more than a decade later still finding solace in the support of the wider community, as Red Nose Day is marked on Friday.
Red Nose Day helps fund 24/7 grief counselling and support for the more than 3000 Australian families who suffer the death of a baby each year through SIDS, stillbirth and other causes. Red Nose Day also funds groundbreaking research and advice services for new parents to help keep their babies safe.
Fadden couple Candy and Mark van Poppel have three girls: Eva, 9, Maddie, 8, and Isla, 6.
Their first-born, Millan, who would have been turning 11 in November, is never forgotten. His little handprint and birthdate is tattooed on his mum's shoulder. And he is often the focus of conversation in the household.
"The girls will just randomly bring him up and I don't even know sometimes where it's coming from," Candy said.
"Even when we're driving the car, because we do have a seven-seater car, they'll talk about if he was here, where everybody would be sitting."
Added to the shock was that Millan died after a healthy pregnancy.
Candy and Mark used the services of the former Kids and SIDS ACT, now part of Red Nose Australia, immediately after the loss of Millan, through accessing a bereavement counsellor, information and a support group.
Candy, 39, is now a trained peer support volunteer with Red Nose, helping other parents through the unthinkable loss of a child.
"I'm still very much in contact with the friendships I made through Red Nose. I still need them and it doesn't matter what happens, they're friends that I've made for life," she said.
Candy said the 10th anniversary of Millan's birth and death hit her hard but it was only this year she started to understand her reaction.
"In the early days, I was scared I would forget what it felt like [to lose him]," she said.
"Ten years seems like a long time, but I still have quite explicit memories. That's what I was scared of, that I would lose those.
"I think now that I have my friends from my early days of my support group, they are my support now and I can say to them, 'Hey, this is what's happening'. And because we all met within 18 months, our journey of milestones is similar."
The coronavirus has had an impact on Red Nose Australia.
From July 2020 until June 2021, Red Nose delivered more than 5300 counselling sessions to devastated families - up 40 per cent up on the previous year. Many of the parents were incredibly distressed, particularly during lockdown periods when they were unable to lean on their wider family and friends for much-needed support.
During this same period, the Red Nose Grief and Loss support line also received a 45 per cent jump in calls.
With so many communities still in lockdown, Canberra now included, there are still ways to support Red Nose Day on Friday.
Make a donation online at rednose.org.au or buy some Red Nose Day merch, from the iconic red nose, to an apron to some silly socks at shoprednose.com.au.
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