Casting her mind back to the long flight home from New Zealand after the last Women’s Rugby World Cup, England wing Abby Dow puffs out her cheeks.
England had just suffered heartbreak in the final, narrowly losing 34-31 to New Zealand after Lydia Thompson was shown a red card just 18 minutes into the game.
The Red Roses had gone into the tournament as favourites, thanks to a record 30-Test winning streak, and the loss brought them crashing back to earth.
Even months after that loss in November 2022, members of the squad were still getting over the defeat.
“We all just split off and went home [after the final],” says Dow. “No one actually dealt with it.
“I remember us coming back and we watched clips of the game - and there were some girls crying. That was three months before and we hadn’t actually unpacked it.
“I think one thing Mitch (England head coach John Mitchell) has done really well is unpack and actually reset who we are.
We are a very different team to what we were then. We are much stronger, more dynamic and more bold to do what we want to do
“We are a very different team to what we were then. We are much stronger, more dynamic and more bold to do what we want to do. It doesn’t worry us.
“It only makes us go: ‘Let’s go, we are ready for this’. The best teams in the world are the ones that are able to bounce back and learn as quickly as they can.”
Since that final defeat, England have bounced back and are unbeaten, winning 27 Tests in a row.
Fuelled by pain, the Red Roses have embarked on a new winning streak and go into this home World Cup full of momentum.
England kick off their quest for glory on Friday, when they take on USA at the Stadium of Light, and it will be a special occasion for Dow.
The wing’s grandfather, Gordon, was born in Sunderland and is a fan of the Black Cats. He has never been to the Stadium of Light, but will end that wait on Friday at the age of 98 by going to watch Dow.
It will be extra poignant for the 27-year-old as her father, Paul, died four years ago before he had the chance to see her play at a World Cup.
“With it being my dad’s side, and how my dad can’t be there, it’s just nice I can still have a part of him there,” says Dow.
“My dad was at every single one of my games growing up, so it’s nice he is still there in his family.
“It will just be so nice to have a piece of family there and for my grandad to come back to Sunderland, and really experience it again.”
Dow hopes England can “put on a show” in their opening game and she comes into this World Cup with far better preparation than the last one.
The wing broke her leg in April 2022, just six months before the World Cup in New Zealand was due to take place.
Dow was able to get fit in time, but it was not until she reviewed her performances at the tournament with coaches after that she realised how much it took out of her.
“I remember going: ‘I killed myself’,” Dow says. “I remember mentally realising that I was knackered, because if you think about it, I broke my leg in the Wales game.
One thing players work with is making sure that high is fine, but don’t make it too high so your low really hurts
“Then everyone else, after two more games, they went on annual leave. I worked, the whole way through.
“I then went to a World Cup, where I was away from home for eight weeks - I worked. I think after all of that, I realised I was absolutely knackered and you are almost like, am I zombie? What am I doing?”
Dow is in a better place going into this World Cup and she partly puts that down to her favourite new hobby, crocheting.
The wing started doing it during the Covid-19 lockdowns a few years ago and now has her own Instagram page, with over 2,000 followers, dedicated to it.
Dow has made key rings, flowers and even gifts for opponents in recent months. The squad have got on board and encouraged her to make bunting for the team hotel.
“With rugby and any elite sport, you get highs and you get real lows,” says Dow.
“One thing players work with is making sure that high is fine, but don’t make it too high so your low really hurts.
“The one thing with crochet and making small things like that, in an hour you have made something really sweet and cute - and that’s your sense of achievement. You have given yourself a little high.”
After the heartbreak of New Zealand, Dow now has the chance to turn pain into redemption - and to help England write history on home soil.
