The president's note to Condoleezza Rice. Photograph: Rick Wilking/Reuters
He may be considered the most powerful human being on earth, but it is comforting to see that the US president is just a man, after all: during Wednesday's UN summit meeting, George Bush suddenly found himself needing to answer a call of nature, writes Rosalind Ryan.
So how does a US president ask for permission to leave the room when the eyes of the world are upon him? Did he put his hand up and ask: "Please, sir, can I go to the toilet?" - to which the answer from the secretary-general, Kofi Annan, should have been: "George, it's not 'can'; it's 'may' I go to the toilet."
Did he decide to sit it out until the bell rang? No, he scribbled a note in class to his secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, asking for her advice. "I think I MAY NEED A BATHROOM break? Is this possible?" he wrote. But it's still not known whether Mr Bush got his wish, as the White House has refused to comment on the issue.
When we analysed Mr Bush's note, using the highly (un)scientific test on the 'world's leading handwriting website' we discovered that the fact that he left lots of white space around his note shows he "has a fear of moving too fast in any direction".
"The right side of the page represents the future and the left side represents the past. George seems a bit stuck in the middle, afraid to take action," says the site. "George seems to have a fear of looking bad or of crossing boundaries."
Apparently the slant of his "t" indicates that "George has a temper. He uses this as a defence mechanism when he doesn't know how to handle a situation." It also shows he can be sarcastic, another "defence mechanism designed to protect his ego".
The positioning of the crossbar of his "t" is a sure sign that "George will stay in a bad situation for much too long … because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard to plan too far into the future."
From the president's "m"s, the site deduces: "Diplomacy is one of George's best attributes because he has the ability to say what others want to hear." His "m" also tells us that it "takes time for him to be creative. He must slow down to do it."
But perhaps the most telling indicator of his personality comes from the way his words are all positioned in relation to each other: "George is middle of the road, politically as well as ideologically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence and then finally decides what he has to do."
You can analyse his note - or your own handwriting - on handwritingsherlock.com.
But back to the subject of the littlest room. It's a good job the UN summit is being held in New York. If Mr Bush had been granted permission to visit the gents at the European parliament in Brussels, his urgent desire to visit the toilet could have been construed as something entirely different: in July this year undercover reporters found "significant amounts" of cocaine in the building's toilets and other areas.
Mr Bush is not alone in urgently needing to visit the toilet during highly important events. The Olympic gold medal winner Paula Radcliffewas lambasted in the press after this year's London marathon, when she stopped for an "alfresco" toilet break.
Even at Wimbledon - a bastion of British manners and propriety - players have now been granted "comfort breaks" during matches. In 1998, Anna Kournikova was knocked out of the French Open after being refused a visit to the ladies. She has since declined to say whether her request was a stalling tactic or she genuinely needed to go.
Perhaps Mr Bush should have employed a tactic allegedly used by the former US president Lyndon Johnson. Urban myth has it that Mr Johnson used to dictate important documents to his staff while sitting on the toilet - though the myth does not tell us whether he did this in full view or shouted through a closed door to spare their blushes.
If only Mr Bush had had a Blackberry on him during the summit meeting. One quick email to Mr Social Grace could have answered his questions about how to ask to be excused in an acceptable manner. The correct form of words is, much etiquette research reveals: "Excuse me, please may I go to the toilet?" or "Excuse me, can you tell me where the toilet is?"
If Mr Bush ever finds himself in a similar tricky situation, he could consult Debrett's New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners, which covers everything from meeting queens - highly likely in his business - to how to eat figs at a formal dinner. Sadly how to cope with choking on a pretzel has been ignored.
