All faith systems have their totems, but what happens when objects upon which so much value is placed by so many turn out to be rather less than they seem? This apropos of new reports that not only is the I’m a Celebrity jungle camp populated by papier-mache rocks but also, in perhaps the cruellest twist of all, the waterfall under which numerous camp inhabitants have just so happened to lose so many of their clothes is not really a waterfall at all. It is a water feature that turns on and off and is built above a man-made lagoon.
This news originally came to light more than a decade ago, when former contestant Lauren Booth explained in a column that it was camp mate David Gest who first noted that rocks around the encampment were made from papier-mache. How damning that these discoveries were not taken seriously at the time. How sad that Gest went to his grave not knowing how, or if, the story would ever explode. Perhaps the blame should not lie on the shoulders of those kangaroo anus-eating celebrities. Perhaps we simply didn’t want to know. And yet here we are, with stories of hollow rocks and that faux waterfall finally making headlines.
But despite Gest and Booth’s crusade for the truth, this story is not just about I’m a Celebrity’s waterfall. It’s not even just about I’m A Celebrity. This is an allegory for every fake waterfall we see without ever knowing we have seen it. It’s about the faith that we put in the robustness of showbiz persona and celebrity status. Just as we should consider whether an emperor really is wearing any clothes, so too must we all endeavour to look for the off-switch on every allegorical waterfall we encounter. It’s what David Gest would have wanted.
