A bride-to-be recently had a massive realization about wedding costs when she asked her bridal party for their budgets for hair and the bachelorette party. In a Reddit post, user chapstix0314 thought she was being incredibly considerate by checking in, but after tallying up the full list of expenses her closest friends faced, she started to wonder if she was asking too much of them.
The complete list included things she hadn’t originally thought of, like dresses, shoes, travel, nails, and gifts. She noted that “No one has complained and they all seem excited about these things,” the user shared. However, after she realized that the cumulative financial hit was huge, she felt “like it’s asking too much.” She isn’t alone in questioning where the line is drawn between what’s customary and what’s actually fair to ask of your friends.
If you’re planning a wedding, the financial expectations you place on your wedding party are definitely something you need to consider. According to the report by Newsweek, many experts agree that anything mandatory should be covered by the couple, which is different from rigid traditional planning. Bridesmaids usually cover their own attire, hair, and makeup, and even local bachelorette parties. Or in the case of a destination party, their travel costs.
If it’s something you want, honestly, you should pay for it
The original poster’s concern reflects a broader uncertainty around the costs of an elaborate wedding and who should be footing the bills. One woman, spurred by the 5-year debt of her wedding, is offering his daughters money if they will skip the traditional wedding. However, for many, a wedding is important and an impactful event that stays with them even through surprise additions.
One commenter shared that they struggled with this dilemma deeply because they’d been a bridesmaid with no money on many occasions. They mentioned they would have appreciated having hair or makeup covered during those times. “I vowed I would do it differently for my own if I ever got married,” they explained.
This idea of offering financial relief instead of traditional favors is a top-tier move. The original poster is now considering skipping the standard bridesmaid gifts altogether. She thinks it would be far more valuable to offer to pay for something practical for the wedding instead, such as hair, shoes, or nails.
This pivot raises an interesting question: Do bridesmaids prefer that practical financial support, or do they want a more personalized token or keepsake on the day? The consensus is split, but many favor real financial relief.
