What the fack is wrong with this bloody country? No respect for important people, that's what.
So, like, there I am, in the limo en route to do a bloody TV talkshow, just trying to do my facking job, you know, when that lawyer guy calls me up and tells me I, like, could go to jail for, like, ever! Or six months. Or whatever. And all just because I bravely took a stand on that stupid plane when they lost my goddamn luggage and I told those pathetic airplane dollies just how fricking useless they are. And maybe started on a couple of those guys when they dragged me off the plane. Like, whatever - they lost my luggage!
But revolutionary leaders have always had to fight the man. I mean, look at my spiritual poppy, Nelson Mandela. He always warned me that one must fight for truth and justice. And really, anti-apartheid, Louis Vuitton luggage - what's the difference?
Yeah, like, maybe those losers in the anger management course I had to attend after whacking a maid in the head with my BlackBerry may disagree with my methods but we're talking luggage, yeah?
And like I said at the time, my temper is a result of my daddy abandoning me when I was a baby, and all that crap. Why are you looking at me like that? Where's my facking BlackBerry?
