It's been a weirdly quiet week since I cut short my promotional tour of Japan so I could get back to the States to offer my support to Barack Obama. Like I said to the Japanese: I feel your loss. But my country needs me.
Anyway, this morning I left another message for Barack, basically saying can you get back to me on the economic rescue strategy I sketched out. It's easy to spot because I did it in glitterpen and headlined it Moneylicious.
But because communication seems kinda slow at present - there's always going to be a lag until he gets into the Oval Office and can set me up on his speed dial - I issued a statement about my role on inauguration day. "I feel like all of us - we're ready to do what we have to do," I told the Associated Press. "Whatever they want - if they need me to volunteer, if they need me to sing, I'm there."
What I meant was: I'll volunteer to sing. Obviously I won't be setting up chairs or manning queues or anything not tailored to my skillset. And, obviously, I'll sing only if I headline, only if I can sing at least one experimental track from my forth-coming album that no one wants to hear and, obviously, only if I have a large, dedicated Capitol Hill dressing room with 21 Diptyque candles (jasmine). Presumably the Supreme Court building won't be in use at the time?
