Let’s say you find yourself with an evening free. You’re feeling refreshed, open to experience, and eager to shake things up a bit from your usual post-work routine of slump-and-scroll. The world is your oyster! Would you rather a) go to a gig or b) have sex? The answer, as is so often the case with these “would you rather” questions, is obviously: “It depends.” Thinking adults may reasonably inquire: what is the gig? Who is the sex with? Is it likely to be good?
Few would opt for a Limp Bizkit/Slipknot/Korn triple bill if one enchanted evening with Jonathan Bailey was the alternative. But adjust either end of the equation, and it becomes less clearcut. For the 40,000 people asked this question by gig promoter Live Nation, however, no such clarification was offered – and the response came out unambiguously and overwhelmingly in favour of gigs.
Live Nation’s global Living for Life report, surveying 40,000 people aged between 18 and 54 in 15 markets (or, as you may know them, countries) found that concerts are now the world’s top form of entertainment, ranking above sports, movies and – yes – sexual intercourse (or, as I recently and unpleasantly heard it dubbed, “inty”). If limited to one type of entertainment for the rest of their lives, 39% of respondents chose live music, versus going to the cinema (17%) and sports events (14%). They were also more than twice as likely to choose seeing their favourite artist in concert (70%) over sex (30%).
Of course it’s not surprising that a PR survey, conducted for a gig promoter, should come out so overwhelmingly in favour of gigs – and, in the freewheeling, speculative spirit of a would-you-rather, if your favourite artist is, say, Paul McCartney, you can see why watching him in concert might win out over a common or garden shag. But this binary choice between live music or sex, obviously silly though it may be, is interesting to consider given the odd juncture we’re at with both.
In recent years, gig-going has become not just a communal experience but a competitive sport. Live Nation duly points out that stadium attendance has “tripled year-over-year”, and festivals sell out faster than ever. Simply getting tickets now requires military-level planning, rapid-fire response times and bottomless pockets (or a generous credit card limit). Even if you’re successful, it’s not enough to simply turn up and enjoy the show. There’s now an expectation, at least among pop fans, that you can boost your return on investment by attending more than once (even travelling internationally), swotting up on the set list ahead of time and knowing your marks to hit and calls-and-responses established by previous crowds.
I am still scarred by my experience of the Taylor Swift Eras tour: what felt like a choreographed performance of 72,989 people, to which I alone turned up not knowing the steps. That 18-month, $2bn juggernaut was proof of the lengths to which people will go to feel part of a cultural moment and see their favourite artist perform, even if the actual music seems increasingly secondary to the spectacle.
Sex, on the other hand – a relatively cheap and accessible pleasure – is in dire straits. According to a 2020 YouGov survey, about a quarter of Brits had sex in an average week, while just under a third were sexually inactive. In the US, in 2021, 26% of American adults said they had not had sex a single time in the past year, up from 20% in 2010. In both territories, the shift has been attributed to less sexual activity among younger people. Compare this with the market driving growth for stadium extravaganzas and the cutthroat competition for tickets. Of course it’s not as simple as a straightforward choice between one or the other – “would you rather see the Eras tour five times, or remain a virgin?” – but it’s perhaps an indication of which is perceived as the more reliable pleasure.
Sex and live music are more comparable than you might think. Both represent the activation of a relationship, a real-world test of impressions or potential that might have amassed only in your head. You show up with some idea of how it’s likely to go, but hopeful of being pleasantly surprised – and whether it proves good or bad depends very much on whether your energy and expectations match theirs. Quite often you’ll end up with someone else’s hair in your mouth, and afterwards be hanging out for a cigarette and some quiet time by yourself. And, in both cases, drugs and alcohol can either enhance or detract from the experience (but definitely make the most dire occasions easier to weather).
The magic to both gigs and sex depends on finding that elusive sweet spot between familiarity and novelty, similarity and difference, effort and ease. Of course it happens only rarely – but it’s the memory of when they did, the knowledge that it’s possible, that motivates us to try again: to go out on that date, or shell out for those tickets. Materially, of course, they starkly diverge. Perhaps the most revealing truth we can glean from this promotional survey on sexual versus musical serendipity is that the pursuit of one is much more fraught than the other. Given the bad behaviour, desultory encounters and even open hostility that seem to define dating at the moment, it’s no wonder people say they’d rather go to a gig instead.
Personally speaking, it would be a no-brainer to relive my favourite-ever gig (Carly Rae Jepsen in the packed-out basement room of XOYO in London) over the average one-night stand. But I’ve also been to many shows, including some by my most cherished artists, that I couldn’t wait to finish: I wasn’t in the mood, or something about the environment was putting me off, or they were doing this experimental new stuff I wasn’t into. The variables are numerous, and nigh-on impossible to prejudge: it could be exhilarating, a night you’ll remember for ever and which reaffirms your faith in the medium – or you might find yourself impatient to leave before the encore. Either way, you won’t find out by spending another night at home alone on the couch.
